Playing the Field: Politicians don’t know sports, plus Nicki Minaj on ice

Distracted yet, New Jersey? Get Funkmaster Flex on the line ...

It’s never a good thing when politicians start blabbing about sports.

Either they are totally clueless, or they try to wow us with their super-sports knowledge. Yes, we’re casting a wussified glare right at you, Ed Rendell. Whichever kind of suit runs your town, city, state … bottom line, shut up and stay on the sidelines. Especially in this economy, especially in an election year.

With that out of the way, we land in Beantown. Boston mayor Thomas Menino is almost as famous for his blunders as for his politics. Menino, known affectionately in Boston as Mumbles, infamously thanked Jason Varitek (former Red Sox catcher) for “splitting the uprights” at a statue ceremony.

On Wednesday, Mumbles was back at it, praising the efforts of Celtics stars Kevin Garnett and Rajon Rondo – or, as he likes to call them, “KJ” and “Hondo.”

“There’s a lot of heart in this team, let me just tell you,” Menino told reporters. “KJ is great but Hondo is really the inspiration. Hondo drives that team.”

Sources tell us President Obama has threatened to kick Menino out of the Democratic party. Obviously, we’re kidding about that … but he should. Here, at Playing the Field, we love hip-hop music, but we’re not — although we have day-dreamed about it — cutting any tracks.

Broke and loving it

It’s always boggled the mind how quickly professional athletes can fall on hard times. In this past year alone, we’ve witnessed Allen Iverson get sued over a jewelry debt. It got so bad that indoor soccer teams were reaching out to AI. Terrell Owens isn’t faring much better, after confronting his baby mamas on Dr. Phil and then being booted off an arena football team. The team, the Wranglers, are actually withholding TO’s pay check.

Now, ESPN brings us an in-depth look at our heroes with a new “30 for 30” documentary entitled “Broke.” Andre Rison, Bernie Kosar and Bart Scott make appearances. According to a press release, 60% of NBA players are broke within five years of retirement, and 78% of NFL players are broke within three years of retirement.

The rest delve into the seedy underworld that is reality TV. Seriosuly, though, if AI and TO are legitimately broke, wouldn’t you watch that show? We would. Our working title for it is: “Did Tawanna Tell You That … We’re Broke!?”

Have boobs, will distract

Did the L.A. Kings hire a porn star to distract the Devils?

It certainly seems that way after flesh peddler Taylor Stevens was identified, perched right behind the New Jersey bench in Game 4, with her credentials on full display. It didn’t really work, with the Devils winning and all. But as the series shifts back to Jersey, will the Devils have a similar trick up their sweaters? If so, what can they offer? A few thoughts …

1. Meadow Soprano: Her real name is Jamie-Lynn Sigler and she’s from Queens. Of course, she’ll always be Tony’s little girl. She’s hot, plus she’s mobbed up (not just on TV, she also dates Lenny Dykstra’s son). Take that, Gretzky.

2. Snooki: The Jersey Shore star – and we use that term loosely – isn’t the most attractive creature walking around Newark, but her red skin could probably cast down a distracting glow on the ice.

3. Nicki Minaj: She owes Jersey a concert after blowing off Summer Jam last weekend. Put her behind — and we do mean that literally (by the way, how many pucks could that thing stop?) — the Kings bench and they don’t stand a chance.


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