Vile Lolo Jones and Tim Tebow sex tape talk and POTUS on the Youkilis trade

Lolo Jones, the bully.

Would Tim Tebow really date Lolo Jones?

Of course not.

First of all, Lolo Jones’ dad spent a considerable amount of time in the clink. Strike one for the devout Christian.

Second of all, Lolo Jones has admitted to stealing. Strike two.

Third, Jones is not Mr. Tebow’s type in one particular category if we are to believe that Mr. Tebow has a favorite category (the Google images for a ‘Tim Tebow girlfriend’ search reveal that he enjoys a certain female asset, and it ain’t ‘brains’). Strike three.

Still, the Jones-Tebow dating leaks will undoubtedly start trickling out in the coming weeks as NBC hypes the Olympics. What better way to sell your product than to get Tebow involved?

Jones is already well ahead of the game. Appearing on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno Monday night, Jones came right out (unprompted) and addressed the topic of a Tebow-Jones relationship. (Click here to watch the video)

“I’m pretty sure I’m going to just invite Tebow to church,” Jones said. “It is a 100 percent way to not get rejected. Totaly just going to invite him to church.”

Comedian Louis C.K., who was Leno’s other guest, couldn’t resist …

“That would be a great tape too, if you sold it,” Louis blurted out. “I’m just saying it’d be very popular.”

Louis is right, of course. Tebow wouldn’t have to start another NFL game (he might not anyway) and Jones wouldn’t have to appear in another Olympics (she might not anyway) if they just sold the rights to both of their “first times” and got things over with. Seriously, three seconds of work for an endless stream of millions? Who wouldn’t do that? 

In today’s world, something like this wouldn’t even be a shocker. In fact, the biggest shocker of all in this Jones-Tebow saga was that something actually interesting occurred on The Tonight Show.

Why are so many people worked up over this Youkilis trade?

It’s simply mind-boggling that an MLB trade involving a .233-hitting, mediocre third base playing, Shrek lookalike and a utility player that looks to weigh 115 pounds soaking wet generates this much interest.

But it did. And we must live with that fact without feeling doomed as a society.

The Youkilis trade generated this moment Monday in Boston (it’s a liberal community, if you haven’t heard) from the leader of the free world:

And then there was a response from a Brent Lillibridge fan (there is such a thing!!!???) who cried when he was told that his favorite player was traded.

His parents look to have removed the video from Youtube after a good amount of backlash for posting it.

Whatever.


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