Playing the Field: T.O. touches himself on Skype (allegedly) and the Yankees cheat

T.O. on a solo mission.

“I love me some me!” – the great T.O.

Never have those words been more appropriate.

There was once a time in this country where it was accepted by all that the biggest ego-maniac around was Terrell Owens.

But T.O.’s story is so 2005. His reality show’s ratings are lower than last night’s FoxSportsNet Florida-Arkansas softball 3 a.m. replay. In fact, we’re not even sure if the show still exists at all (it was so bad that no one even made the effort to write it was cancelled apparently).

That’s why it was sad today to learn that much of T.O.’s time these days is spent allegedly Skype spanking.

Now, I will give T.O. credit for this and only this: it’s original. It’s really hard to think of any former athlete straight up skipping the whole sex tape thing (ya know, with another woman) and going straight to a solo act.

It also could be that with Owens having some “ultimate me time” on camera, he is just giving younger athletes pointers on when and where to complete the deed. It has long been rumored that athletes should not commit these acts on themselves before an athletic event because it makes your legs weak. Instead you should wait until the event ends or, even better, your entire career ends. Then? Have at it hoss.

Strange hardball happenings

Ah yes, the long-standing tradition at Yankee Stadium of players jumping into the stands, dropping the ball, having a fan put the ball back in the glove and then the umpire looking around like a preoccupied WWE official.

It worked in 2004 when Derek Jeter jumped into the stands and it still works today. At least DeWayne Wise, however, gave us the courtesy of not utilizing the blood capsules in his pockets like Jeter did.

And further proving that baseball is a bizarre game, the Reds Aroldis Chapman gave us two forward somersaults in celebration of closing out the game Tuesday night. In baseball’s unwritten rule book (which is going on 657,876 pages now), it’s fine for a relief pitcher to do somersaults and give crotch chops in celebration, but when a batter who hits a home run so much as glances at the pitcher, it’s the end of the world as we know it.

It’s long been said that teaching non-sports viewing women the rules of football is the most frustrating thing a sports fan can do. Well, here’s a close runner-up: try teaching them two or three of baseball’s unwritten rules sometime … oh, and be sure to bring the whiskey.



News
Entertainment
Sports
Lifestyle
Local

MAP: New York City Street Closures August 22,…

The Percy Sutton Harlem 5K and NYC Family Health Walk-a-thon and Pakistan Day Parade and Fair will cause traffic delays and street closures in New York City this weekend. Plan…

International

U.N. nuclear inquiry on Iran seen making slow…

The U.N. nuclear watchdog appears to have made only limited progress so far in getting Iran to answer questions about its suspected atomic bomb research, diplomatic sources said on Friday,…

National

Violence-weary Missouri town sees second night of calm

By Nick Carey and Carey GillamFERGUSON Mo. (Reuters) - The violence-weary town of Ferguson, Missouri, saw a second straight evening of relative calm on Thursday…

National

Journalist James Foley's parents, after call with pope,…

The parents of James Foley, the American journalist killed by Islamic State militants in Iraq, on Friday called for prayer and support to free the remaining captives held by Islamic…

Television

Recap: 'The Knick,' Season 1, Episode 3, 'The…

The third episode of Steven Soderbergh's "The Knick" finds Dr. Thackery (Clive Owen) meeting an old flame and other characters embracing self-destruction.

Music

Webcast: Watch Polyphonic Spree live on Sunday Aug.…

Polyphonic Spree singer Tim DeLaughter sits with Metro Music Editor Pat Healy for a chat and then the big band performs live. It begins on Sunday at 9:30 pm

Movies

Matthew Weiner on directing 'Are You Here' and…

"Mad Men" creator Matthew Weiner discusses his movie "Are You Here," his history writing comedy and the tiny movie he directed in 1996 you can't see.

Movies

Michael Chiklis on his football past and 'When…

Michael Chiklis remembers playing football in high school and how that prepped him to play a coach in "When the Game Stands Tall."

NFL

Fantasy football draft guide: How to draft your…

Many are wondering if we’re entering a new age in fantasy football drafting — one where running backs take a backseat.

NFL

Jets vs. Giants: 3 Giants storylines to watch

The Giants have plenty to work on as they reach the dress rehearsal preseason game Friday night against the rival Jets.

NFL

Jets vs. Giants: 3 Jets storylines to watch

Metro looks at three Jets storylines to watch as they play the Giants Friday.

NFL

Giants expected to work Corey Washington into first-team…

The day of reckoning for the Giants' fringe players will fall upon them Friday night against the Jets.

Sex

Big weddings may lead to long-term happiness

Dreaming of a big wedding? A new study indicates that the longer your guest list, the happier you’ll be in the long run. l A…

Sex

Online dating for every generation

Frank Jackson and his mother Maggie are like lots of modern families: They have dinner together regularly, keep each other updated on their lives —…

Wellbeing

Going green could be the key to getting…

If we could just pursue the things that would actually make us happy, we could help the environment too, according to a New York researcher.…

Tech

Siren: A new dating app that puts women…

Online dating can be brutal, especially for single women. Noting that many women hate wading through inappropriate messages and photos, two tech entrepreneurs decided to…