Playing the Field: Steve Nash as the Dark Knight
Hollywood. It’s where aspiring actors go to live out their dreams. It’s also where talented basketball players go to live out theirs … by playing alongside Kobe Bryant and under the watchful eye of Jack Nicholson, they are title contenders virtually every season.
Enter Steve Nash. The future Hall of Famer, and one of the best true point guards in the NBA, was traded to the L.A. Lakers where he’ll most likely pursue both his passions. We always knew about the wizardry he can perform with a basketball, but we didn’t see this coming. Nash has been making parody videos on something he calls “Nash, Camera, Action.” The latest is a Batman spoof — and it might be the best thing you watch all week.
Nothing more patriotic than hot dogs and puke
We’ve often struggled with how to cover Coney Island’s annual hot-dog eating contest. It is an officially sanctioned event by the IFOCE (International Federation of Competitive Eating), after all. Besides, have you ever seen the guns on Wing Bowl champion Takeru Kobayashi?
But Kobayashi was banned from the Nathan’s competition two years ago after refusing to sign an exclusive contract with Major League Eating. He was arrested when he showed up anyway, clearing the way for Joey Chestnut to rule the roost. Chestnut, who downed 68 buns and hot dogs Wednesday in 10 minutes, has now won six straight.
We’ll let you debate if these guys are really athletes or not. (Please leave comments below, we’ll post them all.) In the meantime, here are some professional athletes we’d like to see scarfing down wieners. No, really, no pun intended.
CC Sabathia: The Yankees ace dropped 25 pounds in the offseason by cutting out Cap’n Crunch cereal … still, he weighs in at 290 pounds and we’re betting he can throw down double-digit dogs.
Vance Worley: The zany Phillies pitcher recently told Metro that he loves to eat, especially chicken cheesesteaks. As long as Geno’s Steaks isn’t providing the food, we’ll put a bet down on The Vanimal.
Glen “Big Baby” Davis: We’ve never seen him eat, nor do we know for certain that he enjoys inhaling pork products. But, at 6-foot-9, 290 pounds, we don’t think we’re going out on a limb here.
Pimp Bryce Harper’s ride
Remember that MTV show, “Cribs?” Or better yet, that short-lived spin-off, “Pimp My Ride?”
Well, they should bring at least one of those shows back and focus entirely on professional athletes. Why? Because I want to put the steering wheel to the face, or the toilet seat to the headband. LeBron James has a sweet collection of all-white whips. Michael Jordan’s is so vast he has a whole mini-series on YouTube. With that, we welcome Nationals rookie phenom Bryce Harper to the club. Harper is such a team-first guy that he replaced the Mercedes-Benz logo with a Washington Nationals one. That’s no clown car, bro.