Playing the Field: Ochocinco 911 tape released and it’s Tim Tebow’s birthday (hooray!)

Chad Johnson's career has gone down the tubes in a mere 72 hours.

Since the show Rescue 911, which was slotted somewhere in between “Major Dad” and “Designing Women” in CBS’s historically bad primetime lineup of the early 1990s, we have been fascinated by 911 calls.

They really do explain a lot about situations of crisis, much more than most police reports. So we were certainly expecting the Chad Johnson/Evelyn Lozada 911 tapes to reveal the most drama-filled 3-4 minute 911 call in the history of man, namely because it involved Chad Johnson and Evelyn Lozada.
Shockingly enough, this is how it went down:

Wow. Just wow. Could this guy have been more calm? He is the coolest customer around and should be hired immediately by a high-profile police department to deal with crisis management. We’re guessing he’s already pretty well-off since he lives next to Mr. and Mrs. Ochocinco, but the guy missed his true calling in life.

Imagine the class and grace in which he would have handled this scene:

Ocho’s neighbor would have simply dominated this situation, never flinching.
Ocho’s neighbor: “Ms. with the s*** on your face, you’ve been tremendously helpful so far and we are extremely appreciative of that. I just have one more request if you could be so kind. Could you please look for a large, magic marker, whatever color — just as long as it makes a nice mark here on this poor soul’s chest? She is a high-profile individual and we would rather not make a scene. So if you could just briskly bring a marker to me, I would be forever in debt.”

Ocho’s neighbor is truly the anti-Vincent Vega. He is confident in his skills to get the job done and will never, ever crack under pressure.

Now we’re wishing on-air birthdays to back-up QB’s?

Tim Tebow had his own segment on SportsCenter this morning. Because today is his birthday. He is 25-years-old. Swell.

makes about as much sense as that thing when your 200 friends on
Facebook wish you a happy birthday and you have to either “like” each
wish or respond with fake enthusiasm for each comment (Thanks Danny!!!
Haven’t seen you since 5th grade, but I appreciate the fact that you
take the time to wish everyone you know or knew a happy birthday via social media

In that spirit, we were wondering if ESPN featured
Arizona Cardinals backup quarterback Richard Bartel when it was his
birthday on Feb. 3?

After all, like Tebow, Bartel is a back-up QB. He
is currently going through the grind at camp. He’s putting in all the hours.
He’s entrenched in the playbook until the morning’s early hours. He was
once the BMOC in college (Tarleton State, represent!).

Richard, here’s to you. Happy birthday, six months later, from your
friends at PTF. You don’t even have to “like” us or post a comment
here either. Today is your special day.


Winning $7 million New York lottery ticket sold…

The only $7 million winning New York Lottery ticket for Monday's Cash4Life drawing was sold at a Queens 7-Eleven, officials said on Tuesday.


Brooklyn man charged in roommate's stabbing death

A Brooklyn man accused of violently stabbing his roommate to death on Monday is in police custody and faces murder charges.


Dinosaurs could have survived asteroid strike

It turns out there is a good and a bad time for the planet to be hit by a meteor, and dinosaurs were just unlucky.…


OkCupid admits to Facebook-style experimenting on customers

By Sarah McBrideSAN FRANCISCO (Reuters) - OkCupid, a top U.S. matchmaking website, intentionally mismatched users to test its technology, the IAC/InterActive Corp service said on…


Playing the Field: Valentine's Day coupling edition

  It’s Valentine’s Day, a day created by Hallmark to make couples spend loads and loads of money on candy, flowers and gourmet dinners. Or…


Incubus singer Brandon Boyd on his newest act,…

The rocker is releasing two new passion projects.


Interview: Brendan Gleeson on the way 'Calvary' depicts…

Brendan Gleeson talks about how his new film "Calvary" began over drinks and how his character here is the opposite of the lead in "The Guard."


'Get on Up' producer Mick Jagger on the…

Mick Jagger, a producer on the James Brown biopic "Get on Up," talks about the time had to tell the singer some bad news and his favorite JB record.


Playing the Field: Valentine's Day coupling edition

  It’s Valentine’s Day, a day created by Hallmark to make couples spend loads and loads of money on candy, flowers and gourmet dinners. Or…


Angelo Cataldi: Ryan Howard deserves better from Phillies

Just last week, Ryan Howard endured the embarrassment of a benching that was inevitable, and yet still shocking.


Larry Donnell has inside track in Giants tight…

Little-known Larry Donnell of Grambling State currently has the inside track, as the second-year player has received the bulk of the first-team reps.


Computer to Jets: Start Michael Vick over Geno…

Jets general manager John Idzik says the choice of who starts between second-year quarterback Geno Smith and veteran Michael Vick will be a “Jets decision.”


What do you wear to a career fair?…

Getting that gig starts with presenting the most polished and memorable version of yourself, so refer to our expert fashion advice.


Editors pick: Margiela's finger armor ring

These cool rings from Maison Martin Margiela are designed to overlap over the finger, covering each joint like armor.


Givenchy champions diversity

Riccardo Tisci's uses a variety of ethnically diverse ladies for his spring campaign including Erykah Badu.


Don't settle for the hotel fitness center with…

Travelers who want to skip the hotel fitness center in favor of local gyms that may offer better equipment, classes and amenities can turn to…