Mistress Chocolate: An interview with a New York City dominatrix

"I make the rules. It is my RIGHT to change the rules." — Mistress Chocolate.

As part of Metro’s annual sex issue, we explore today’s hottest sex trends both locally and nationally. For more of this year’s theme — kink — check out our coverage on sex toy safety and our interview with “Fifty Shades” author E.L. James.

This year’s hot erotic novel “Fifty Shades of Grey” put a spotlight on dominant-submissive sexual relationships and the ins and outs of BDSM, and real-life dominatrixes have been reaping the benefits of the book’s popularity.

We caught up with local dominatrix Mistress Chocolate in between her “training” sessions. At size 18, she prides herself as “New York’s premier black Amazon goddess.” She told Metro her unique size and shape have set her popularity on fire and helped to earn her a hefty income by calling the shots with men, women and couples looking to be dominated.

The 47-year-old wasn’t always in this line of work — she used to work in IT before losing her job during the recession. She is currently studying biomedicine at a prominent local university, but she has no plans to hang up the paddle anytime soon.

Metro: Have you noticed an increase in business since the release of “Fifty Shades of Grey”?

Mistress Chocolate: I feel that ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’ helped me immensely. When people ask me if I read ‘Fifty Shades,’ I’m like, ‘I am Fifty Shades.’ 

How would you describe your job?

Domination from a woman’s perspective is exploring eroticism or alternative lifestyles of what the other individual wants, without judgement. I do bondage, I do golden or brown showers, I do sissy training. That’s when a person comes to me and they aren’t a cross-dresser, but they like to feel women’s lingerie. It’s part of the humiliation — I’m forcing you to wear those panties, so if you didn’t like them before, get used to it.

How did you become a dominatrix?

I started domination as a student in Fordham in 1999. I was in the legal
industry as secretary for 20 years, then I did conversions on software
applications, then I started doing IT help desk work. I lost my job in
2008. I went back to school for nursing and it was an income issue for
me. My ex-husband told me about it. I think we had a dominate-submissive
relationship. He came to me and said, ‘What do you think about beating
someone while you are having sex?’ At first I thought he was crazy, but
then I started doing research. He bought me my first outfit. He did my Web page, he did my pictures. He was sick of me yelling and told me to
go yell at someone else. I loved it. I’m a spoiled brat, I got my way.

What kind of personality does it take to do what you do?

You have to be nonjudgmental, you can’t be hurting the person. Be sure of who you are because [clients] will try to top you. They will challenge your authority. You have to figure out whether they are trying to do it to get reprimanded or trying to take control slowly. If you are a dominatrix, you are on top. If I have to keep talking to you, then I am stopping. I’m not a mama.


What’s the earning potential for someone in your line of work?

I set up a business, I take credit cards. I had a bigger influx at that time I started than I do now. I can make $6,000 in a month with live sessions, out calls, webcams and phone sessions. If I just did domination with live clients, it would be $2,000. I charge $200 to $300 per hour for live sessions.

Do you tell your friends or family what you do?

My mate now knows, but no one in school knows. I did talk about it once when [my classmates] were talking about ‘Fifty Shades,’ but at the end of the day, it’s not accepted by society. And I do a lot of volunteer stuff, and they don’t need to know where the money is coming from.

Any weird stuff happen on the job?

I had once a guy from the Clinton administration. You don’t know what you’re going to run into.

Some ask me if they can wear blankets. How am I going to beat you and spank you if you’re covered up? You are here to do what I want. We have negotiation meetings, screenings, we talk about medical issues, circulation, whether they can get marked. And I use a safe word.



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