Playing the Field: What Bill O’Brien said, what he meant

Was it loyalty or leverage that kept Bill O'Brien at Penn State? Whatever it was, O'Brien needs an editor.

Loyalty or leverage?

While the media and Penn State fans debate the motive behind Bill O’Brien’s choice to remain on the Nittany Lions’ sideline. In case you hadn’t heard, O’Brien received a $1.3 million pay bump to turn down all NFL suitors. Could he have gotten more in the NFL? Probably. Could he have failed miserably at the next level? Probably.

There are a thousand other questions we could ponder, but that’s not what this platform is for. No, we’re here to mock the innocent — and their contracts. It seems O’Brien’s contract is a matter of public record, so too is his resume. Shall we?

Here are some of the funnier typos (credentials?) listed on O’Brien’s resume:

What it says: Coach Tom Brady in 2011 became the first unanimous Associated Press NFL MVP.

What it means: Yes, Tom Brady is the Patriots real head coach. Eat it, Belichick.

What it says: Coached Randy Moss, Wes Welker and Jabar Gaffney. Lost Tom Brady in first game of season but still finished with an 11-5 record.

What it means:
I’m so good that I guided a team with Jabar Gaffney at receiver and Matt Cassel at quarterback to 11 wins.

What it says:
18-1 overall, 16-0 regular season. Heavily involved in game planning for offense that set multiple NFL records.

What it means: Don’t blame me for that Super Bowl loss to the Giants. I didn’t call the defensive plays.

Weird arm ink for Rex Ryan

Apparently the New York Daily News sent a paparazzo down to Bahamas to shoot Jets coach Rex Ryan on the beach. Weird enough. Weirder is what they found. Ryan has a tattoo of his wife wearing a Mark Sanchez jersey on his arm — and she appears to be Tebowing.

And already the Jets are attempting to steal the NFL playoff spotlight. We’re not going to dwell on the obvious here (insert your own NSFW jokes here), but we do want to contemplate some other tattoos we’d really love to see on pro coaches. Away we go …

Phil Jackson: The unemployed ex-Lakers coach recently got engaged to longtime girlfriend (and daughter of Lakers owner Jerry Buss) Jeanie Buss. So which jersey does she don in his tattoo, Shaq, Kobe or Jordan? Better yet, maybe it’s Kobe wearing a Jordan jersey.

Andy Reid: As the new Chiefs coach searches for a new design (Geno Smith anyone?), the old tattoo — with all apologies to Mike Vick — has to be his wife in a Donovan McNabb jersey — holding a cheesesteak of course.

Chip Kelly: Ahh, the soon-to-be ex-Oregon coach doesn’t have a woman or an athlete inked on his arm. No sir. Kelly has Scrooge McDuck’s money pit there with 32 NFL logos swimming around. It’s good to feel wanted.


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