As Valentine’s Day approaches, give it up for your friends

friends

This Valentine’s Day, as you’re bombarded with all things pink, pre fixe dinners, and expectations about what you should or shouldn’t do, I’d like to divert your attention to something else: your friends.  If Valentine’s Day is truly about recognizing love, then we can’t neglect this aspect of our lives.

While the idea that friendships are important may seem obvious, I’d like to challenge you to assess where this priority actually falls on your over all to do list.  When setting life goals, we resolve to work hard, “get ahead,” stay in shape, find that special someone, keep that special someone, or start a family.

Having more or better friendships probably gets knocked off by things that seem “more important” because we tend not to look at friendships as “responsible,” “adult” priorities.  As long as we can check off the “have friends” box to prove we’re not losers, that can feel good enough. It may not hit us as a pressing matter if our friends aren’t actually that supportive, interesting, or fun, or if we’ve neglected to spend quality time with them, genuinely be there for them, or stay up to speed on their lives.

But checking off the box isn’t enough.  More than simply “having friends,” if we want to be truly fulfilled we need to actually be in our friendships.  Put simply, here is what that means: make time for the friends you adore.  Stay present when you’re with them, and be willing to be vulnerable and express your true feelings.  If they piss you off, don’t talk crap behind their backs; express your grievances to their faces—I know that’s a scary thought, but I promise getting through it will only make your relationships better.

We spend so much energy trying to find “the one,” buying books and reading columns about how to attract this person, hold their interest, and build a quality relationship.  But this relationship isn’t the only one that matters.  And over this next week, when the hearts and cupids are inescapable, I’d like to encourage you to keep that in mind.

Amber Madison, Metro New York



News
Entertainment
Sports
Lifestyle
Local

Brooklyn man charged in roommate's stabbing death

A Brooklyn man accused of violently stabbing his roommate to death on Monday is in police custody and faces murder charges.

International

Dinosaurs could have survived asteroid strike

It turns out there is a good and a bad time for the planet to be hit by a meteor, and dinosaurs were just unlucky.…

National

OkCupid admits to Facebook-style experimenting on customers

By Sarah McBrideSAN FRANCISCO (Reuters) - OkCupid, a top U.S. matchmaking website, intentionally mismatched users to test its technology, the IAC/InterActive Corp service said on…

Local

MTA fares still increasing 4 percent in newly…

The agency said the 4 percent increases, previously announced in December, will remain steady even as the MTA deals with increasing labor costs.

Movies

Interview: Brendan Gleeson on the way 'Calvary' depicts…

Brendan Gleeson talks about how his new film "Calvary" began over drinks and how his character here is the opposite of the lead in "The Guard."

Movies

'Get on Up' producer Mick Jagger on the…

Mick Jagger, a producer on the James Brown biopic "Get on Up," talks about the time had to tell the singer some bad news and his favorite JB record.

Television

'Glee' star Lea Michele to appear on 'Sons…

"Glee" star Lea Michele has been confirmed as a guest star in the final season of "Sons of Anarchy."

Television

TV watch list, Monday, July 28: 'The Bachelorette'…

See Andi Dorfman make her big choice on tonight's 'Bachelorette' finale.

MLB

Angelo Cataldi: Ryan Howard deserves better from Phillies

Just last week, Ryan Howard endured the embarrassment of a benching that was inevitable, and yet still shocking.

NFL

Larry Donnell has inside track in Giants tight…

Little-known Larry Donnell of Grambling State currently has the inside track, as the second-year player has received the bulk of the first-team reps.

NFL

Computer to Jets: Start Michael Vick over Geno…

Jets general manager John Idzik says the choice of who starts between second-year quarterback Geno Smith and veteran Michael Vick will be a “Jets decision.”

MLB

Yankees looking to trade for Josh Willingham: Report

CBS Sports’ Jon Heyman reported Sunday the Yankees are interested in Twins outfielder Josh Willingham.

Travel

Glasgow: Hey, hey, the gangs aren't here

This European city has done a good job getting rid of its more violent residents and revitalizing with artists.

Education

Babson College tops list of best colleges for…

Money magazine has just released its inaugural list of "The Best Colleges for Your Money" -- and the answers have surprised many. Babson College, which…

Education

NYC teens learn how to develop apps during…

Through a program sponsored by CampInteractive, the high schoolers designed their own community-focused apps.

Tech

The Ministry of Silly Walks app is both…

Monty Python have dug into their back catalogue for cash-ins once more, but with the Ministry of Silly Walks app, they've made something that's fun too.