As Valentine’s Day approaches, give it up for your friends

friends

This Valentine’s Day, as you’re bombarded with all things pink, pre fixe dinners, and expectations about what you should or shouldn’t do, I’d like to divert your attention to something else: your friends.  If Valentine’s Day is truly about recognizing love, then we can’t neglect this aspect of our lives.

While the idea that friendships are important may seem obvious, I’d like to challenge you to assess where this priority actually falls on your over all to do list.  When setting life goals, we resolve to work hard, “get ahead,” stay in shape, find that special someone, keep that special someone, or start a family.

Having more or better friendships probably gets knocked off by things that seem “more important” because we tend not to look at friendships as “responsible,” “adult” priorities.  As long as we can check off the “have friends” box to prove we’re not losers, that can feel good enough. It may not hit us as a pressing matter if our friends aren’t actually that supportive, interesting, or fun, or if we’ve neglected to spend quality time with them, genuinely be there for them, or stay up to speed on their lives.

But checking off the box isn’t enough.  More than simply “having friends,” if we want to be truly fulfilled we need to actually be in our friendships.  Put simply, here is what that means: make time for the friends you adore.  Stay present when you’re with them, and be willing to be vulnerable and express your true feelings.  If they piss you off, don’t talk crap behind their backs; express your grievances to their faces—I know that’s a scary thought, but I promise getting through it will only make your relationships better.

We spend so much energy trying to find “the one,” buying books and reading columns about how to attract this person, hold their interest, and build a quality relationship.  But this relationship isn’t the only one that matters.  And over this next week, when the hearts and cupids are inescapable, I’d like to encourage you to keep that in mind.

Amber Madison, Metro New York


News
Entertainment
Sports
Lifestyle
News

OMG! Exercise can make skin (and butt) look…

A moderate exercise regime can turn back time and actually reverse the skin's aging process, according to new research. The study showed that a minimum…

News

Mets mascot Mr. Met target of Bill Clinton…

Mets mascot Mr. Met has told how he ended up in the crosshairs of a Secret Service sniper rifle. The man behind the Mr. Met…

International

Jews in eastern Ukraine ordered to register, Kerry…

Secretary of State John Kerry condemned reports that Jews in eastern Ukraine had been ordered to register with the authorities "or suffer the consequences."

National

Chelsea Clinton pregnant with first child

Chelsea Clinton is pregnant with her first child.

Television

'Scandal' recap: Season 3, Episode 18, 'The Price…

Sally is Jesus, Olivia caused global warming, and Mellie's still drunk. Let's recap the Scandal finale. A church full of Washington insiders is about to…

Movies

Review: 'Transcendence' is not stupid but sometimes lacks…

The cyberthriller "Transcendence" explores artificial intelligence, nanotechnology and other ethical quandaries, but has too much ambition, if anything.

Television

Dick Wolf to bring fictionalized world of 'Law…

A&E has ordered a pilot called "D.O.A." from "Law and Order" mastermind Dick Wolf that will focus on real detectives reexamining cold cases. A trio…

Television

Shane West talks WGN America's 'Salem'

The actor on history lessons, a new network and showing his butt.

NHL

Rangers draw first blood against Flyers in Game…

Brad Richards and Derek Stepan scored power-play goals 47 seconds apart to lead the Rangers to a 4-1 win.

NBA

Carmelo Anthony agonizing over Knicks future as season…

There’s still the cloud hanging over the franchise’s head as to the pending free-agent status of All-Star forward Carmelo Anthony.

NFL

Jets host players with eye toward NFL Draft

The Jets hosted a number of NFL Draft hopefuls for workouts on Thursday, with an eye toward some under-the-radar players.

NFL

Chris Johnson: I wanted to go to 'a…

Now that Chris Johnson is a Jet, the team has to figure out if one of the most explosive players in the NFL over the last half decade has anything…

Style

Light-up nail art syncs with phone

This Japanese technology syncs light-up nail art with your phone.

Wellbeing

Why is dance cardio taking off in NYC?

Instructors at some of the city's hottest classes explain why.

Travel

Earth Day travel in the Florida Keys

See why this eco-friendly destination deserves your attention.

Tech

Sorry, Facebook — FarmVille goes mobile with 'Country…

Zynga has released a version of the hit "FarmVille" tailored for smartphones and tablets in the hope of reaping a bumper crop of players.