How to deal with a Valentine’s Day bummer
There are plenty of people out there who are hoping the day of hearts will bring them the gift they want most. It is a day full of wishes, red-wrapped gifts, candy hearts and — whether you like it or not — occasional disappointment.
There is so much expectation wrapped into this one special day because we attach our significant other’s love to the gift they give us. Sometimes, that all-important item you are hoping for just isn’t sitting in the tissue paper when you open the box. So if you don’t get the present you were expecting, or if you don’t like the one you got, what can you do? Most importantly, how can you get through the day feeling better and not worse about the one you love?
This one 24-hour period carries a lot of weight for couples. Some people deal with that pressure by choosing to play it down. Maybe they are a nonconformist, or feel they don’t need a holiday to show their love. If that’s the case, try to talk about it to see where your valentine is coming from so you can better understand it.
If you are given something you don’t like, thank your partner graciously but see if there is the option of taking it back. If there is, explain why you might like something else — what’s in the box is too dressy or too bright — and then invite them along to choose something else. Use it as an opportunity to teach them about your tastes. If there is no chance for a return or exchange, be receptive. If your loved one likes the gift they gave, try to be open to their taste and you might expand your own horizons.
The most important thing to keep in mind is that Valentine’s Day is to express your love, whether or not your partner’s generosity is packaged quite the way you had hoped. No matter what you receive, remember that it’s still carrying love and you will appreciate it more — and so will your Valentine.
Relationship expert Dr. Jane Greer is creator of “Shrink Wrap” – a nationaly commentary on what we can learn from celebrity relationships — and host of “Let’s Talk Sex” at Healthylife.net. Her book, “What About Me? Stop Selfishness From Ruining Your Relationship,” is available nationwide.