Sexting 101: Rules for getting kinky on the keys

Just because you like her doesn't mean she needs to see a pic of your jubblies, boys.
Just because you like her doesn’t mean she needs to see a pic of your jubblies, boys.

Something I hear all too often from men and women alike is that overly sexual text messages turned them off of once-promising partners. Things had been going fine, but the texts got too sexty too fast — then it not only got awkward, but kinda creepy. To keep you from making this mistake, follow these three simple rules to keep your texting in line.

Rule #1: Face to face

If you have not met a person in real life, don’t sext them. Understandably, you want to be flirty if you’re messaging someone from a dating site. But getting sexual in your messages is way too presumptuous for someone you haven’t met in person and you’re not even sure you’re attracted to. (More importantly, they may not be sure if they’re attracted to you!) Some playful teasing is fine, but save the “I wanna do blank to your blank” talk for a person you’re actually dating.

Rule #2: Do it first

If you haven‘t done it in real life, don’t text about it. So, you went on a few dates and made out a little bit — awesome. That doesn’t give you the right to start texting about how you can’t wait to get them naked or bend them over various pieces of furniture. The time to propose sexual activity is in person, not via cell phone. It’s presumptuous to share your sex fantasies with someone who may not want to be having sex with you. Save the explicit talk and fantasies for when you’re actually in a sexual relationship.

Rule #3: Cage your snake, boys

Function under the assumption that she doesn’t want a dick pic. Guys: your junk is impressive I’m sure. But we don’t want a picture of it. Really. We don’t care how big, pierced, tattooed, well groomed or whatever it is. Penises on their own aren’t everybody’s idea of sexy. Penises attached to guys we don’t know that well also are definitely not sexy. If you’re super fit and you want to send a topless pic, that’s a little braggy, though at least it’s hot. But keep your snake in its cage!

Amber Madison

Amber Madison is a Manhattan-based relationship expert and dating coach. She is the author of ‘Are All Guys Assholes?’ You can follow her on Twitter @ambermadi.


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