Is there a ghost behind your online date?

ghost date
Is there a ghost behind your next online date? There might be — and that’s OK, experts say. Credit: Digital Vision

Having trouble clicking your way to love? If writing exciting copy for your online dating profile makes you wince, you’re not alone.

Just ask Laurie Davis, author of “Love @ First Click: The Ultimate Guide to Online Dating” and founder of eFlirt Expert, an online dating consultancy firm. Online daters enlist her help with writing a profile, messaging, online dating management and relationship coaching. She says eFlirt is responsible for 19 marriages and counting.

Davis says that “singles have a challenging time writing about themselves. This is generally true regardless of profession.” Davis says people are often surprised that eFlirt’s clients include authors, journalists and even marketers.

Depending on which package her clients — who range in age from 19 to 70 — enroll in, they are connected with certified coaches. The coaches help them with services like a one-time profile critique or even monthly subscription packages to help them learn the ropes of dating online with some extra help.

The eFlirt consultants — all of whom have degrees in English, journalism or communications — follow a course instruction, which was inspired by yoga teacher training, with classroom time, practical work and an exam. “Yes, it’s a real exam!” she promises. This encompasses multiple-choice questions, fill-in-the-blanks and practical portions like completing a profile from scratch.

Despite so many clients concerned about copy, profile photos also often need a little help. “Ultimately, without great photos you’ll have a tough time attracting the right type of match,” Davis points out.

According to Charles J. Orlando, relationship expert and author of “The Problem with Women … is Men” book series, there’s really nothing wrong with relying on others, whether it’s a professional or a friend, to weigh in on your photos and profile.

“Just be sure you’re making the choices you want to make,” he advises. “In the real world, both parties communicate via verbal and non-verbal cues. But with online dating, initial impressions, introductions and the ‘Please allow me to introduce myself’ process is virtually nonexistent.”

Orlando says that profiles are “just an introduction,” and that just like offline dating, people “reveal who they are slowly, over time.”

So, if you aren’t a great writer, he says it might be useful to consult a writing service, but adds that eventually you’ll be face-to-face with someone. “Pulling out your best attributes is great … but you’ll need to be real.”

Davis’ expert tips for a clickable profile:

1. Wear color in your main photo. Wearing a bold color will help your picture pop when you show up in search results with 20-plus other singles.

2. Upload at least one action shot. A photo of you doing something fun shows off your lifestyle more than any description you type.

3. Make your profile action-oriented. Your profile is a conversation starter. It’s easier for matches to strike up a digital conversation when you mention activities that fill your life.

4. Edit for virtual confidence. Confidence is sexy, even online, and can be conveyed through tone. Delete wishy-washy terms and phrases like “I guess,” “maybe” and “sort of.” But don’t go overboard — there is a thin line between confident and cocky.



News
Entertainment
Sports
Lifestyle
National

At 91, Marvel creator Stan Lee continues to…

By Piya Sinha-RoyLOS ANGELES (Reuters) - Marvel Entertainment's chief emeritus Stan Lee may be in his ninth decade, but it hasn't stopped him from adding…

National

Islamic State says beheads U.S. journalist, holds another

Islamic State insurgents released a video purportedly showing the beheading of U.S. journalist James Foley, who had gone missing in Syria nearly two years ago.

Local

VIDEO: NYPD seeks shooter in East New York…

Cops are on the lookout for an unknown shooter who aimed and missed hitting a man on a bicycle, instead nearly striking a nearby officer in East New York.

Local

NYS state forces thrift shops comply with ban…

Nine New York City thrift shops were reprimanded by the state attorney general for selling children's clothes with drawstrings around the neck and waist.

Television

'Pretty Little Liars' recap: Season 5, Episode 11,…

Caleb's not a ghost. Spencer might still be an attempted murderer. And Hanna's going to die next week. In other words, we actually got some…

Movies

At 91, Marvel creator Stan Lee continues to…

Marvel Entertainment's Stan Lee is adding outposts to his creative empire to interest a new generation of children in super heroes of all shapes and sizes.

Television

Mira Sorvino explores immortality on 'Intruders'

Mira Sorvino's new show "Intruders" centers around a secret society that achieves immortality by taking over the bodies of other people.

Television

5 things you need to know about new…

"Doctor Who" returns Saturday with a new star, Peter Capaldi. Here's some things to know about him (mainly his turn as sweary spin doctor Malcolm Tucker).

MLB

Shane Greene travels unlikely road to Yankees stardom

Shane Greene was throwing a bullpen session on a quiet field at Daytona Beach Community College one day when the ball started moving.

NFL

2014 Fantasy Football: Rankings, list of top NFL…

2014 Fantasy Football: Rankings, list of top NFL tight ends (TE)

MLB

MLB Power Rankings: Angels supplant A's, Nationals climb

MLB Power Rankings: Angels supplant A's, Nationals climb

NFL

David Wilson returns to triple jump, sets sights…

Giants fans know David Wilson can jump. They are just more used to seeing him go for backflips, not distance.

Style

11 timeless gifts for registries or just because

Gifts to prove you're a style maven once and for all.

Parenting

How everyday moments can inspire kids' creativity

"The Artist's Way for Parents" author Julia Cameron gives advice on how parents and children can be creative together.

Tech

How to stay safe online

Stop worrying about keeping your online passwords safe, and start worrying about keeping your username a secret. Actually, worry about both. According to Shaun Murphy…

Tech

OpenTable now lets you pay your bill via…

The restaurant app OpenTable added the ability to pay your bill (and tip) with your phone, thus cutting back on a few dining annoyances.