Don’t buy into sexist ads

summer's eve
Sure, sex sells, but does sexism have to? / Provided

This year’s Super Bowl ads were nothing over-the-top, but the ad for Summer’s Eve, the brand that makes douche products, used a marketing technique that is, uh, kind of douchey. In the ad, a guy mistakenly uses his girlfriend’s special soap, flips his s—, then goes on a rampage: chopping wood, chugging raw eggs and performing other acts of strength and supposed “manliness.” The idea is that he needs to “cancel out” whatever girl cooties he may have absorbed by using a pH-balanced, feminine hygiene soap.

The offensive thing about this commercial is that it would never work if the genders were reversed. Culturally it’s okay (even cool) for girl to be like a “guy,” but for guys, being like a “girl” isn’t.

This is a problem. Pretty obviously it’s demeaning to women. But aside from that, this kind of gender essentialism undermines our relationships. Given that sensitivity and emotion are things we are told are “girly,” telling men not to be “girly” boils it all down too much. And it’s not just Summer’s Eve that is telling guys to “man up” — the reality is, this message is all over, in subtle and obvious ways.

Man or woman, we’re all human, and we should be able to be in touch with all parts of ourselves — strong, aggressive, sensitive, caring, etc. These are all human traits, not traits attached to one sex or the other — though we may have learned to see them that way. People who are in touch with all aspects of their personalities are not only more interesting, they make better partners.

Ladies often say they want to date sweet, sensitive, guys — but do we actually reward this type of behavior? Or are we betting on the “alpha male” stereotype, as Summer’s Eve did? We want to be emotionally supported in relationships, but when a guy opens up about his vulnerabilities, it’s important that we see him as a sexy, complete person and not a “weak” guy. So many men around the country that I interviewed for “Are All Guys Assholes?” said they acted like assholes because they believed it was what girls wanted and if they were too nice or too sensitive, girls would be turned off.

They always say the most important thing in a relationship is to just be yourself. So let’s stop telling men to wash off their feelings. While we’re at it, maybe we can raise our standards for ads and they can get better, too.

— Amber Madison is a nationally noted relationship expert and practicing therapist who lives in Manhattan. She is also the author of “Are All Guys Assholes?” for which she interviewed over 1,000 guys and found the answer to this question is “no.” Follow her on Twitter @ambermadi to get her latest advice. 



News
Entertainment
Sports
Lifestyle
Local

Seven arrests made in $1.6 million StubHub cyberfraud…

Police have arrested seven people on charges they were tied to an international ring that defrauded eBay Inc's StubHub online ticketing service of some $1.6 million, the latest in a…

National

Giant ketchup bottle up for sale in southern…

By Mary WisniewskiCHICAGO (Reuters) - Want a giant historic order of fries with that?A water tower shaped like a 170-foot-tall ketchup bottle is for sale…

Local

NYPD: Man denied money punches 65-year-old at Bronx…

A 65-year-old man was punched and shoved at a D train station in the Bronx last week when he denied another man money, police said.

Local

New York Governor Cuomo's office intervened in corruption…

New York Governor Andrew Cuomo's office meddled with a commission he created to root out corruption in state politics, pushing back whenever it focused on groups tied to Cuomo, the…

Arts

Artist Fiona Yang creates stunning 3-D murals that…

Vancouver-based artist Fiona Tang creates large-scale murals of animals that appear three-dimensional.

Television

Portia de Rossi to appear on 'Scandal'

Portia de Rossi will be appearing in a few episodes of "Sandal" in a yet-to-be-revealed arc.

Entertainment

One Direction fans celebrate four years of Harry…

Whether you love them or hate them — or if you say that you hate them and secretly sing along to their songs alone in…

Music

Jack White attends Cubs game, looks miserable

Jack White went to a Cubs game and got photographed looking really unhappy about it.

NFL

Fantasy football: Johnny Manziel could give your running…

Fantasy football: Johnny Manziel could give your running game a boost

NFL

3 storylines to watch as Jets open training…

Jets head coach Rex Ryan might be in for an even tougher job in 2014 after arguably his best coaching job last season.

NFL

David Tyree hiring has gay rights advocates angry

Former Giants Super Bowl hero David Tyree will re-join the franchise as its new director of player development.

NFL

Ben McAdoo's new offense has Giants excited to…

Even Tom Coughlin feels he has a lot to learn about offensive coordinator Ben McAdoo’s new offense, which makes the veteran coach very excited.

Wellbeing

Marijuana lube is a real thing

Heighten your sexual experience by actually getting high. Foria, a cannabis-infused "sensual enhancement oil," is now on the market, kind of — residents of California…

Style

How to dress like a socialite while sticking…

Nicky Hilton is releasing a new book about how to dress fabulously while sticking to a budget.

Parenting

The best Back-To-School Backpacks

Get ready for back-to-school with these stylish kids' backpacks.

Education

Elementary school students like their healthy school lunches…

When the federal government first rolled out its healthier school meal guidelines in 2012, elementary schoolers weren't happy. Much was written about how America's youngest…

Comments

1

  1. my co-worker’s aunt makes $70 hourly on the computer. She has been without a job for seven months but last month her paycheck was $19034 just working on the computer for a few hours. Read more on this web site

    w­w­w­.­j­o­b­s­6­1­.­c­o­m