Whole Foods resignation letter: Would you quit this way?
What do fire, acid and Nickleback music have in common? According to the
resignation letter of this Whole Foods employee, the combination of the
three resemble several years on the job. Oh, while also falling down a
really long spiky hill.
In an epic letter that spills the organic garbanzo beans about Whole Foods, the employee outlines all the things he feels are
so blatantly wrong with the company and the way it treats its employees.
Plenty of us dream about the ultimate resignation letter, but this
really tops the list of see-ya-wouldn’t-wanna-be-ya moments.
He starts off detailing all the things he finds hypocritical about
the grocery giant, including its tendency to over-order products to
guarantee full shelves yet boasting a “caring about our communities and
our environment” philosophy. He also says Whole Foods uses its employees
as human billboards by making them wear “poorly made, ugly t-shirts.”
But wait, there’s more! This guy also claims most of the prepared food
is terrible, saying even the pizza slices have shrunk! That’s a complete
conspiracy in our book….
The disgruntled (to say the least) employee reveals that cost of living
raises are not given to Whole Foods employees. He also criticizes the
company for scolding employees for being tardy by asking, “oh, you actually think
being 20 minutes late matters? You know Whole Foods Market is just a
grocery store, right?” Well, come on buddy… you were going
strong until that.
But he goes on to redeem himself in hilarious little blurbs addressed to each of his higher-ups. In one directed to who we can only assume is a manager, he says, “you create a hostile work environment with your flashes of insane anger
and passive (I hesitate to use the word passive…) aggressive behavior.
Please, just leave and piss all over the patio at [REDACTED]‘s again.
Maybe [REDACTED] will help this time.” We are definitely dying to know the story behind this one!
In another, he awards someone with the prestigious honor of “least likely to realize he’s about to walk into someone.” Don’t we all have one of those in the office? He finishes his rant by wishing good luck to his (former) co-workers, but also throwing in that the “suck it up” mentality just makes them the biggest part of the problem.
We can’t decide if this guy was one of those co-workers you love or one you hate, but there’s no doubt that he got the last word on this one.
Would you quit your job like this?