The Word: Divorcing with the Kardashians, Part 2

Wait — you didn’t really think we were done with Kim Kardashian, did
you? Far from it, kupcakes.
When there’s a four-hour reality TV special on your $10 million wedding,
you better believe there’s weeks worth of gossip when you divorce 72
days later (and no, we will never get tired of the wonderful numbers in
this story).

Here’s your daily dose, which we recommend taking with food and a
strong drink:

Kris Humphries is ‘devastated’

While Kim’s statement was
clearly written by her publicist while she went shopping, Kris Humphries
was a little less guarded: “I love my wife and am devastated to learn
she filed for divorce,” he said in a statement to E! News on Monday
evening. “I’m committed to this marriage and everything this covenant
represents. I’m willing to do whatever it takes to make it work.”

Are we starting to … feel bad for a member of the Kardashian family?
Make this stop. Make this stop right now.

Our favorite
explanation

If we start explaining the divorce, are we accidentally implying
that the marriage was real? No matter, this one is too good to pass up:
Kim was annoyed that Humphries began “chasing fame” and trying to break
into Hollywood, reports TMZ. Save it for your “moving on” special, lady.

On the rocks

In the divorce filing, Kim asked that jewelry acquired during their
marriage remain hers, according to E! Online. The actual pieces are
unspecified, and we don’t put it past this girl to accumulate some
serious gems in 72 days. That said, we’re pretty sure this has something
to do with that $2 million diamond on her finger.