Lindsay Lohan got into a nasty car accident in L.A. over the weekend, and because this is Lindsay Lohan, things are far from over.

The actress, who was driving, initially claimed that an 18-wheeler cut off her black Porsche, causing her to slam into the back of it and total her car.

We’re not sure if the photos of the damage match up to this story — we’re not even sure we’ve ever seen a car this expensive — but the driver of the truck tells TMZ that Lohan, who was speeding, caused the crash, then attempted to leave the scene while her assistants negotiated a bribe and removed her belongings from the car.  

“I’d already called 911 because they were trying to get away from the scene,” the truck driver tells the site. “But they packed a bag and then the [assistant] told me, ‘Don’t mention the bag to the cops.’”

Lindsay, for her part, is sticking with her original story, but yesterday also floated the idea that the breaks on the Porsche, which was a rental, were recently replaced and failed.

Lindsay, we realize you didn’t have a normal adolescence, so allow us to explain how this works: When you irresponsibly smash up an expensive car that isn’t yours, the correct response is to cry, call your mom and say “officer” a lot.  Rinse and repeat as necessary.

Warning: Nude Snooki is lurking out there

“Jersey Shore” star Snooki seems to be the latest celebrity to get her phone hacked and, surprise, there were nude photos on there.

The pictures, which were first posted to the blog Egotastic, show her — or, if we’re entertaining a really dark world, an impersonator — in a hotel room and appear to be at least six months old.

We can’t decide what’s more upsetting: That we’ve seen Snooki naked, or that we can estimate how long ago she was naked.