‘Bachelorette’ stars: Faking it for fame

Fakers!

The new issue of Us Weekly has a very entertaining cover story on how “Bachelorette” stars Emily Maynard and Jef Holm are faking their engagement.

I know, I know: It’s hard to believe that two fame junkies pretended to be together on a rigged reality TV show to gain attention, but stay with me here.

Apparently, Holm’s former girlfriend and current hook-up buddy (whom he was dating when he went on “The Bachelorette”) went into tell-all mode to Us Weekly. The ex, Kaylee Shepherd, says that Holm revealed to her that he and Maynard are faking it. In August, a “texting scandal” hit — Maynard was caught sexting another man, which Us Weekly, the Woodward and Bernstein of tabloids, uncovered. Maynard, desperate to preserve her good girl image, hatched a plan to pay off Holm with half of her “Bachelorette” money.  “Jef said their relationship isn’t what it seems. It’s all basically for TV,” Shepherd tells Us.

“It’s all basically for TV”? You don’t say. Next thing you know, you’ll be telling me some actors and actresses get plastic surgery and/or take too many prescription drugs in order to fill the dark void that being famous created. Stop ruining my happy place, Us Weekly!

Kate Gosselin’s bodyguard moves on to Honey Boo Boo

Kate Gosselin’s bodyguard has moved on from the “Plus 8” family to a new, more up-and-coming dysfunctional brood: the “Honey Boo Boo” clan.

According to Wet Paint, the unnamed bodyguard is watching the whole family, and not just breakout star Alana.

They “like to go out and eat at local restaurants at all hours of the day or night,” a source tells the site. This habit prompted the recent hiring of two guards to help with security.

I don’t know who you are, fearless reality TV bodyguard, but I really hope you are taking notes for an upcoming memoir. That would be magical.

Miley Cyrus: We are forever

Don’t expect Miley Cyrus and fiancé Liam Hemsworth to rush down the aisle anytime soon. “I already feel married. I know we are forever. I don’t need the paper right now,” Cyrus tells Us Weekly. “I don’t know when we will get married yet. We are still enjoying being engaged. I’ve got so much planning to do with the tours and getting my record out. First I have my movie, then my record — then I’ll do my wedding planning.”

Question: Don’t young, ridiculously famous people know that by now, every time they say,”we are forever,”  they have completely doomed their relationship?


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