The Word: Lindsay Lohan is nothing like the real Liz Taylor

Lohan at the premiere of “Liz & Dick”
Jeffrey Mayer/Getty Images

With all the divorces, marriages and arrests I report on, being a gossip columnist can sometimes feel like being in “Groundhog’s Day” — and Lindsay Lohan is my Ned Ryerson.

Yes, the troubled starlet was arrested yet again for punching another woman at a New York City nightclub around 4 a.m. on Thursday morning. Lohan apparently was “partying hard” at the club, called Avenue, and was “looking for trouble,” a source tells RadarOnline. That trouble manifested itself through a clubgoer named Tiffany Eve Mitchell. Apparently, Mitchell asked Lohan for a photograph. Lohan, who was “drinking heavily and doing cocaine,” said no and was “really rude about it.” Mitchell kept dancing but Lohan wouldn’t let this infraction go. Again, from another eye-witness: “She totally sucker-punched that girl in the face out of nowhere! Nobody saw it coming,” RadarOnline.com reports. “Lindsay went wild. She was kicking and screaming, cursing at the girl and then spit at her. The girl looked like she wanted to fight back at Lindsay, but was too startled by all the commotion to react.”

So, the cops were called. Lohan was spotted attempting to leave the club, hopping into the passenger seat of her car before cops pulled her out and arrested her. Lohan was heard yelling, “Are you kidding me?” as she was led away, a source says. She was released four hours later and given a citation and a court date. Being a refined wordsmith, I’m not good at math, but by my calculation that is probably her one millionth court appointment to date.

Remember when we learned that Lohan was cast as Elizabeth Taylor in the Lifetime Original Movie “Liz & Dick” and everyone was like: “Oh, I can kinda see it?” After all, both are former child stars and Taylor, like Lohan, had to live her life under the glare of the paparazzi. But Taylor would never spend her time in a trashy nightclub sucker-punching various members of the Bridge and Tunnel set. No, she would spend her evenings with Bubbles the chimp or hanging out at various high-stakes poker clubs, willing to give up her diamond earrings as a bet while she purred, “These always brought me luck.” Only really bad, awful trashy people spit on one another in nightclubs. Lohan, please stop. Like Bill Murray, I’m going to start walking off buildings because I just can’t take it anymore.



News
Entertainment
Sports
Lifestyle
National

California passes 'yes-means-yes' campus sexual assault bill

Californian lawmakers passed a law on Thursday requiring universities to adopt "affirmative consent" language in their definitions of consensual sex, part of a nationwide drive to curb sexual assault on…

National

Syrian refugees top 3 million, half of all…

By Stephanie NebehayGENEVA (Reuters) - Three million Syrian refugees will have registered in neighboring countries as of Friday, but many remain trapped by the advance…

International

North Korean leader's money manager defects in Russia:…

A senior North Korean banking official who managed money for leader Kim Jong Un has defected in Russia and was seeking asylum in a third country, a South Korean newspaper…

Local

MAP: New York City Street Closures August 29,…

The Department of Transportation and NYPD said there may be residual delays near all of the street closures on August 29, 31 and 31. Several streets and avenues will be…

Going Out

'Friends' coffeehouse Central Perk coming to NYC —…

"Friends" is coming back for a one-off special: "The One with the Free Coffee." Warner Bros. is bringing a pop-up replica of Central Perk, the…

Movies

Interview: 'As Above, So Below' directors: 5 ways…

The fraternal directors of the found footage horror "As Above, So Below" dish on the best ways to frighten the bejesus out of audiences.

Movies

Criterion's new Jacques Demy box mixes the light…

Jacques Demy, the most effervescent of French New Wave filmmakers, gets a Criterion box all to himself, with classics like "The Umbrellas of Cherbourg."

Entertainment

Comedian Joan Rivers, 81, rushed to New York…

NEW YORK (Reuters) - Acerbic comedian and fashion critic Joan Rivers was rushed to Mount Sinai Hospital in New York on Thursday after she reportedly…

NFL

3 things we learned in the Giants preseason…

The final score didn’t matter — a 16-13 win by the Giants — but it would’ve been nice to finally see Big Blue’s new-look offense get on track.

NFL

NFL Power Rankings: Seahawks, Broncos, Patriots, 49ers start…

NFL Power Rankings: Seahawks, Broncos, Patriots start at top

U.S. Soccer

5 facts about new England captain Wayne Rooney

Manchester United striker Wayne Rooney was named as the new England captain by coach Roy Hodgson on Thursday.

NFL

Jets vs. Eagles: 3 things to watch

A win on Thursday night at the Eagles would give the Jets a 3-1 record and just their second winning preseason under head coach Rex Ryan.

Style

Trend: White hot on the 2014 Emmy's red…

White was one of the big trends on the Emmy's red carpet.

Food

Recipe: Samuel Adams beer-marinated grilled shrimp

Summer calls for two things: a cold beer and light food. Sam Adams' Latitude 48 IPA fairly bursts with citrus notes, making it an ideal marinade…

Wellbeing

4 healthy ingredient swaps to make your meals…

When it comes to eating well, everyone knows they could be doing better. But cooking in an apartment on a busy schedule is a recipe…

Wellbeing

Heart trumps brain when it comes to movies…

When you need a good cry, do you reach for the movie that’s “based on a true story”? Science says you’re giving your brain far…