More than just a mom: How to take time for yourself and not feel guilty
Becoming a mom changes your entire world, and sometimes it can be a little difficult remembering who you used to be. But there are ways to still make time for yourself without being a “bad mom.” Lifestyle blogger Jordan Reid’s new book, “Ramshackle Glam” (named for her popular blog), is full of such tips. She shared some advice with Metro about how to stay sane while entering motherhood.
Let go of the guilt
“The sense of guilt about taking time for yourself is enormous,” Reid says. “But the best thing you can do as a parent is remember that your happiness matters, too.” Reid’s advice for new moms on how to feel like more than “just a mom” is finding faster, modified ways to do the things that you love to do – and not feeling bad about doing them. “Take shortcuts. For me, I don’t use fresh lemon juice or fresh garlic. That’s fine. I can still make a good meal without those things. Or now I use a two-minute beauty routine instead of creating a smoky eye or whatever I used to do. There are ways to feel like you’re taking care of yourself that really don’t take any time at all.”
Make time for old and new friends
Reid was the first in her group of friends to have a baby, and maintaining her friendships has been a struggle. “Be flexible, but be honest and ask your friends to come over [instead of meeting them out] if you need them to. If they’re really your friends, they’ll come.” She also says to be open to new friendships and not worry too much if you are going to offend other parents about their child-rearing philosophies. “Chances are, they’re just as nervous as you,” she says. “But everyone wants to be friends, so just be open-minded and accepting of a new friendship when it is offered.”
Streamline your wardrobe
Between breast-feeding, changing dirty diapers and lack of sleep, putting on a cute outfit is sometimes the furthest thing from a new mom’s mind. But wearing something you feel confident in can be energizing. “Find a silhouette you like and build around that. I like wearing a relaxed silhouette, so my wardrobe consists of relaxed T-shirts in neutral colors. Then I just build with a lot of leopard print and accessories,” she says.
Minimize your beauty routine
Just because you take five minutes to put on a little makeup does not make you a bad mom, and it can truly transform your mood. Reid shares her favorite two-minute beauty routine in “Ramshackle Glam.” “Just dab a tiny bit of concealer on six spots on your face: the outer corners of your eyes, the outer corners of your mouth and the corners of your nose. It will instantly make you look more awake.” She also says she’s a big fan of beauty products that pull double duty, like moisturizer with SPF or a lip balm that also adds color.
Don’t hold grudges against your partner
When you’re stressed out and tired, both you and your partner can say something regrettable. Reid’s philosophy for this is to “love each other, take it back and then let it go.” “You’re both going to say things you don’t mean. You have to let each other take them back,” she says. While your relationship will inevitably change when you have a baby, the infancy stage won’t last forever.
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