Funky Brown Chick: 5 tips for picking up brown-skinned women

Credit: Fuse
It’s important to an open mind and have fun, says our expert.
Credit: Fuse

Whenever men who aren’t black ask me, “What’s it like to date a black woman?” I joke, “I’ve never dated one. Ask a lesbian.” For the curious and fairer-skinned among you, finally, your wait is over. Here is a simple list of Do’s and Don’ts for picking up brown-skinned women. Print it out and keep it in your back pocket:

DO keep it simple. If you have a friend or acquaintance whose ethnicity doesn’t match yours and you’d like to ask them out, say something like: “Hey, what you are doing on Friday? We should hang out.” Yep, my sweeties, it’s that easy.

DO have an open mind. People are such unique and interesting creatures. We all come from different ethnicities, economic classes, educational backgrounds, religions (or not) and regions of the globe. Of course, we’re all raised by totally different, crazy families. As a result, we each have very specific ideas about how the world works. When dating anyone, regardless of background, be prepared to brush up against ideas that may or may not run counter to your beliefs. In that case, resist the urge to think your way is automatically “right” and theirs is “different” (read: wrong). You might learn something new.

DON’T overcompensate. Rattling off endorsements like “I’ve always loved looking at black women,” “Latinas are saucy,” or “Indian women have such great skin” will only make you look like an ass. On a related note, under absolutely NO circumstances should you bust out in a spontaneous freestyle rap or vulgar phrases in another language to prove how “down” you are. [Le sigh. If I had a dollar for every time ... ]

DO be truthful. Should the topic come up, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with saying, “I’ve never really had a(n) ___ girlfriend or anything before because ___.” Chances are pretty good the target of your affection will respect your honesty. By the way, on a related note, don’t lie. No one likes to be led on. So, if you don’t really want to hang out or date a woman of color but you’d just like to hook up with one, there are plenty of places and opportunities to do that. Place an ad on Cragislist, Tinder or raceplay communities.

DO treat the object of your affection like a human being. Duh, right? As a general rule of thumb, ask yourself: When someone hangs out with you, who do they expect to show up? Tip: If you answered “you” instead of “your ethnicity,” you’re right. I could be completely loony and totally off base with this, but I think most people want to be cherished, loved, cared for, and desired for who they are. So, it’s kind of impossible for me to provide an exhaustive list of what works for every woman because each is very different. Your woman will have her own unique interests, likes, dislikes, values and expectations. Spend a little time getting to know her.

Twanna A. Hines is an award­-winning educator and sex columnist. Follow her on Twitter @funkybrownchick.



News
Entertainment
Sports
Lifestyle
National

Mutant worms stay sober, even on alcohol

U.S. researchers have developed "mutant worms" that do not get drunk by alcohol, a breakthrough that could lead to new treatment for people trying to quit drinking

Local

K-9 nose helps capture $150K in cocaine at…

A furry, four-legged security agent helped authorities stop an illegal cocaine shipment from sneaking past JFK customs.

National

Minnesota man asked to leave Southwest flight after…

A man and his two sons were asked to leave a Southwest Airlines flight after the man sent a tweet complaining about being treated rudely by a gate agent.

National

Man sues hospital after surprise penis amputation

An Alabama man who went in to a hospital last month for a circumcision awoke after surgery to find his penis had been amputated, his lawyer said on Thursday.

Arts

Scientists recreate world's smallest Monet copy

Scientists have reproduced a famous Impressionist painting using nano-printing, to create what has been described as the world's smallest work of art. Reworked at the…

Television

Jerry Seinfeld is ambidextrous, and other Reddit AMA…

See some of the weirder highlights of Jerry Seinfeld's recent Reddit AMA.

Going Out

Grab a pedestrian and start dancing at What…

As a New Yorker, I’ve mastered the art of focusing my gaze straight ahead. Though it occasionally piques my interest, the absurdities that play out…

Movies

Shia LaBeouf disorderly conduct case pushed to September

A judge on Thursday adjourned until September the disorderly conduct and harassment case against actor Shia LaBeouf, who was charged with disturbing a Broadway theater…

NFL

2014 NFL Fantasy Football Top 100 overall player…

2014 NFL Fantasy Football Top 100 overall player rankings

U.S. Soccer

NYCFC announce signing of Frank Lampard

The tease of a big signing Thursday by new MLS side NYCFC ended up being one rumored for weeks. England midfielder Frank Lampard agreed to…

NBA

NBA great LeBron James sends 800 cupcake apologies…

By Kim PalmerCLEVELAND (Reuters) - NBA star LeBron James, whose recent return to the Cleveland Cavaliers in his home state of Ohio sparked a frenzy…

NFL

Jerry Reese confident with Giants, skipping countdown clocks…

Last year, Giants GM Jerry Reese installed a countdown clock in the locker room to inspire Big Blue to play in their own stadium for Super Bowl XLVIII.

Tech

Forget Wi-Fi: Li-Fi could be the future

Li-Fi technology – developed by Mexican company Sisoft – is wireless internet connectivity using specialized LED light.

Tech

Weather app Climendo might be the most accurate…

The wait for a truly accurate weather forecast could finally be over thanks to a nifty new app called Climendo.

Tech

Napkin Table puts focus off the phone and…

Michael Jan, a design student at Tunghai University in Taiwan, has invented a serviette-picnic blanket hybrid called the Napkin Table.

Style

Essie's new Color Boutique

Essie launches high-tech kiosks at major airports and malls across the country.