Ask Funky Brown Chick: Help! I want my girlfriend to watch

It's important that everyone is comfortable with what goes on in the bedroom.
It’s important that everyone is comfortable with what goes on in the bedroom.

I have this thing where I want my girlfriend to watch me masturbate and give encouragement. Is that strange?

Sex is not a multiple choice test with a single right answer. The possibilities for pleasure are endless. Knowing what turns you on and wanting your partner to be part of that can be a sign that you are in touch (pun intended) with your desire. Besides, who the hell passes up an opportunity to watch someone masturbate? Wait. Scratch that. Lots of people do. Maybe your girlfriend is in that group, maybe she is not. In either case, this is my advice.

Remember this: masturbation is good

It doesn’t (usually) exchange babymaking fluids or give anyone an STD. Do it to relieve stress. Give yourself an orgasm. Learn how and where you like to be touched. Hell, use it as a form of foreplay or enjoy it as a means to it’s own deliciously-tugged end.

Find out if she likes watching you drown your goose.

You did not mention whether or not you asked your girlfriend if she wants to watch. If you haven’t, start that conversation by letting her know you want her to boss you around while you hacerse una paja because it gets you hot. Tell her you want to share that feeling with her.

Don’t be discouraged if she isn’t into it.

There is no need to feel rejected before you even rubbed one — or, technically, approximately 300 million little swimmers — out. Ask what turns her on to find a mutually-pleasurable route to joint fun.

Learn to compromise or collaborate to find a form of self play that works for both of you.

Couples are rarely 100 percent in synch about all aspects of their relationship. When your playmate isn’t into a particular playtime activity, take time to explore something else that works. See this possibly mismatched desire for what it is: An opportunity to expand your sexual creativity.

Twanna A. Hines is an award­-winning educator and sex columnist. Follow her on Twitter @funkybrownchick.


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