Exclusive interview with ‘God’: ‘Pope was a IV out of X’

@TheTweetOfGod
@TheTweetOfGod

The resignation of Pope Benedict XVI caught everyone by surprise, except his employer.

We caught up with God, aka David Javerbaum, the 11-time Emmy winning comedian who runs the popular @TheTweetOfGod account and author of ‘The Last Testament: A Memoir by God’.

Q: @TheTweetOfGod Popes don’t resign – has ex-Benedict incurred your wrath by doing this or did you fire him?

A: @Metro I’m not angry. In the end it came down to “creative differences”, in that I am infinitely creative and he is different.

@TheTweetOfGod In his final speech he said at tough times “it seemed the Lord was sleeping”. Were you ducking his calls?

@Metro No, he was right. I was sleeping. It was the seventh day of the week. How does he not know what I do on the seventh day? #genesis1bennyboy

@TheTweetOfGod What score would you give his reign?

@Metro I’d give it an IV out of X.

@TheTweetOfGod Are you concerned about the vacuum now he’s gone? Who will you speak through on earth now?

@Metro I will continue to speak through the mentally ill and/or con men, and by “and” I mean conservative Republicans.

@TheTweetOfGod How is recruitment for a replacement going – and who would be your ultimate fantasy pope?

@Metro No comment on who the new Pope might be. Obviously My fantasy would be ‘Poprah’. But she won’t return My calls.

@TheTweetOfGod The pope had a strong social media game – how will you bring the Vatican more in line with the digital era?

@Metro It’s pretty hard to bring the “digital era” to a place where, as the names of the Pope indicate, they don’t even have digits.

@TheTweetOfGod Will you be reclaiming the Popemobile?

@Metro Not reclaiming, but fixing up. I’m giving it racing stripes, lowriders, and an engine that runs on holy water and Jesus-body.

@TheTweetOfGod Off topic but who are you most keen to send to hell?

@Metro My bill collector. Satan owes me 500 years’ back rent.


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