Don’t let your past relationships haunt your future

Don't let bad memories of your ex ruin your current relationships. Credit: Moodboard
Don’t let bad memories of your ex ruin your current relationships.
Credit: Moodboard

Many people carry disastrous relationship experiences from the past into the present. Holding onto that old anger or resentment inevitably transfers negative vibes onto future relationships. It sabotages the possibility of creating healthy new bonds — and keeps you rooted in the dark parts of your history so you can’t experience all the amazing possibilities of the now.

The old stories we carry around keep us stuck, blocked and disconnected from others. The first step to releasing these blocks is to shine some light on the fear-based stories we’ve been replaying. What are the relationship stories you’ve believed for decades? What did you learn as a young child that you carry with you today? Maybe you feel inadequate, or you feel like you’re better than others. Or possibly you feel unworthy of love. There are all kinds of limiting, fear-based stories that we learn at a young age and carry around with us.

Change the story by rewriting the script. Start by writing out the current fear-based story you’ve been living. Then rewrite it: In a notebook, tell the new story of how you want to feel in relationships. Clearly outline the fears you want to release. Committing to changing the story is a radical step on your journey toward fearless relationships. The next time you witness yourself playing out your fear story, take a moment to read the new story you’ve crafted. In an instant you can remind yourself of what is real and commit to a new pattern.

The next step to becoming more fearless in relationships is to check your breath. When you’re stuck in fear, judgment and attack you’re likely not breathing. Your breath alone can smooth over a negative relationship and in an instant change the energy between you and another person. Use your breath as a powerful tool for shifting your energy in relationships. Yogi Bhajan, the Kundalini yoga master, taught:

In any communication, or in any situation which you cannot confront because it is exaggerating, hot or aggressive, just change your breath. Breathe through the lips instead of through the nostrils. Exhale always through the nostrils. Inhale through the rolled lips and make it slow and long. It will slow everything as required. It will increase your sensitivity. It will give you 10 times more projection over the person you are talking to.

Practice this breath exercise in your difficult relationships and you’ll see how you can proactively change the energy between you.

Real change comes with a true desire to change. Therefore, to bring more love into your relationships it’s important that you make a daily commitment to change. Start each day with an affirmation or prayer that sets you up to win. You may say, “Today I intend to bring more love into my relationships.” Or, “Today I will be fearless and free in my relationships.” This simple shift can change your entire attitude, energy and life.

Use these three tools to begin a journey of new perceptions. Open up to the infinite possibilities that you can be fearless in your relationships and you can enjoy more love. Your peace, love, and connection are a choice you make.



News
Entertainment
Sports
Lifestyle
Local

Police officer killed Sunday morning Bronx crash, 8…

One NYPD police officer was killed and eight other officers were injured early Sunday morning when the van they were traveling in crashed  in the…

National

Pennsylvania police shooter manhunt near home of suspect's…

A police manhunt intensified on Friday for the gunman who killed an officer and wounded another in an ambush at a Pennsylvania police barracks a week ago.

Local

MAP: New York City street closures, September 19,…

The Department of Transportation and NYPD said there may be residual delays near all of the street closures on September 19, 20 and 21. There will be many streets and…

Local

MTA announces service changes for Sunday

The MTA has announced service changes ahead of Sunday's People's Climate March, which will be held from 11:30 a.m. to 4:30 p.m. Sunday. Riders using…

Movies

Stream This: James McAvoy is a giddy deviant…

In "Filth," James McAvoy turns what could be a bleak slog into a giddy rush, while David Lynch's "The Elephant Man" goes live on streaming.

Music

Photos: What went down backstage at the iHeartRadio…

See photos and get the gossip from the iHeartRadio Music Festival.

Television

Recap: 'The Knick,' Season 1, Episode 6, 'Start…

The sixth episode of "The Knick" brings some bombshells but is mostly dedicated to isolated and usually fun one-off scenes.

Television

'Outlander' Season 1, Episode 7: 'The Wedding'

Claire and Jamie are man and wife!!! Like, ALL THE WAY, if you know what we mean. (Twice.)

NFL

Oday Aboushi ready for increased role, and to…

Oday Aboushi might feel comfortable enough to engage in some trash talk the next time he is on the field.

NFL

Giants vs. Texans: 3 things to watch

The Giants host the surprising Texans (2-0) in what may already be a must-win game for Big Blue.

NFL

Eric Decker misses practice again, could miss Monday

Jets wide receiver Eric Decker missed practice Thursday as he continues to rehab a hamstring injury suffered last Sunday.

MLB

Derek Jeter still focused on baseball as final…

Derek Jeter has effectively hid his emotions for 20 years in the Bronx.

Parenting

How motherhood inspired Bethenny Frankel's new book

Bethenny Frankel's new children's book is about how her daughter and dog didn't always get alone.

Parenting

A sneaky way to serve kids fruits and…

"My First Juices and Smoothies" gives smoothie recipes for kids.

Style

3 things we love from Day 1 of…

The highlights from Day 1 of Milan Fashion Week.

Sex

Why don't more couples use condoms?

  Call it the “condom moment.” That’s the name the authors of a new study have given to the pivotal conversation every couple should be…