Oral sex made easy: Funky Brown Chick answers your questions
Short and simple: I’m wondering if there is a tactful way to tell my girlfriend she is horrible at oral sex. Any suggestions?Sex is a conversation about desire. Your girlfriend cannot read your mind. If she was sexually active before she met you, it is entirely possible her techniques delighted her other partners just fine.
It sounds like you are somewhat keen on her performance, even if minimally. You want to be turned on and she wants to turn you on, so coach her toward success to make it happen.
It is a delicate conversation. You already know she doesn’t want to hear how she sucks at sucking because, really, no one would. Provide constructive feedback to improve her skills tactfully, while leaving your relationship intact. This is my advice:
Find out if your partner likes giving oral sex
Do not, I repeat, do not grab a fistful of your lover’s hair and guide her south — unless she consents to that. Talk openly and honestly about whether she enjoys feasting downtown. You might discover she doesn’t enjoy it at all. If not, recognize her right to refrain. Sex toys and hand jobs with lube are fun alternatives. Your takeaway: Whatever the task at hand (pun intended), it is more fun if you enjoy doing it.
Encourage, don’t discourage
Find out why she likes it. If she’s into it because it turns you on, take the opportunity to encourage her while also giving some guidance.
Respond and use words during the act
Be expressive without giving explicit stage directions. Stroke either side of her face, trace fingers along her ears and don’t forget to vocalize your excitement with “Oh, yes,” “Don’t forget my balls,” “That feels good,” “Ouch, um, that’s fantastic,” “Just like that,” and other sounds and phrases that help clue your practitioner in on how she is doing.
Evaluate your relationship
To express desire and communicate directly with someone who has a VIP pass to emotionally hurting you in the most vulnerable places requires self-knowledge, strength, self-esteem and other characteristics that build and bruise over decades. Be patient.
Twanna’s tips for oral pleasure:
• Saliva: It’s a natural lubricant. If desired, sweeten the deal and splurge for organic, flavored lube.
• Hands: Make your digits the supporting cast to your mouth’s main performance. Massage balls. Pinch nipples. Spank that ass!
• Eyes: Hold your gaze for 3 or 4 seconds while tilting your head up or to the side, being naughty and hot.
• Air: It yums the hum. Your low, continuous purr is an automatic vibrator and making some noise shows you’re into it.
• Teeth: Vary the sensation. Exercise caution. Alternate kisses, nibbles and sucks to switch things up.