The best lines from the White House Correspondents’ Association dinner

Saturday night’s White House Correspondents’ Association dinner, the annual event where journalists and celebrities mix with the Washington elite, was definitely a laughing matter. Host Conan O’Brien threw some zingers at the media (“Yes, all the Washington news media are here tonight, including the stars of online journalism. I see the Huffington Post has a table. Yay! Which has me wondering, who is covering Miley Cyrus’ latest nip slip?”), but it was President Barack Obama who really brought the laughs.

Here are the top lines:

10. O’BRIEN: “Of course, probably the biggest story that people in this room covered this year was the Republican failure to recapture the White House. Hard to believe the Republicans didn’t fare better in the election with the support of celebrities like Ted Nugent and Meatloaf. I guess they overestimated the number of voters who still drive carpeted vans.”

9. OBAMA: “These days, I look in the mirror and I have to admit, I’m not the strapping young Muslim socialist that I used to be. Time passes. You get a little gray.”

8. O’BRIEN: “By the way, I have a question. And I think some of you also have this question. It’s been several months since you were reelected sir, so I’m curious, why are you still sending everyone five emails a day asking for more money? You won! Do you have a gambling problem we don’t know about?”

7. OBAMA: “One senator who has reached across the aisle recently is Marco Rubio, but I don’t know about 2016. I mean, the guy has not even finished a single term in the Senate and he thinks he’s ready to be president. Kids these days.”

6. OBAMA: “I remember when BuzzFeed was just something I did in college around 2 a.m.”

5. O’BRIEN: “This year you have taken it to new heights. I have to congratulate you. New heights, because you have some of the guys from “Duck Dynasty” here. Which can only mean one thing — the guys from “Storage Wars” said no.”

4. O’BRIEN: “The demographics of this country have been rapidly changing over the past two decades and I look forward to hosting this event 18 years from now. Then my opening line will be ‘Buenos noches …. president e Mario Lopez.”

3. OBAMA: “I’m also hard at work on plans for the Obama Library, and some have suggested that we put it in my birthplace, but I’d rather keep it in the United States.”

2. OBAMA: “I understand that when the Correspondents Association was considering Conan for this gig they were faced with that age ol’ dilemma: do you offer it to him now or wait for five years and then give it to Jimmy Fallon?”

1. O’BRIEN: “It’s been said recently that you don’t mess with Boston. As someone who grew up there, I’d like to echo that sentiment. It’s really pretty simple: if you’re going to pick on a city, don’t choose one where 9 out of 10 people are related to a cop.”



News
Entertainment
Sports
Lifestyle
National

Pennsylvania police shooter manhunt near home of suspect's…

A police manhunt intensified on Friday for the gunman who killed an officer and wounded another in an ambush at a Pennsylvania police barracks a week ago.

Local

MAP: New York City street closures, September 19,…

The Department of Transportation and NYPD said there may be residual delays near all of the street closures on September 19, 20 and 21. There will be many streets and…

Local

MTA announces service changes for Sunday

The MTA has announced service changes ahead of Sunday's People's Climate March, which will be held from 11:30 a.m. to 4:30 p.m. Sunday. Riders using…

Local

NYPD launches Twitter account for L train

The NYPD recently launched a Twitter handle dedicated to the L train and its riders. According to @NYPDLtrain, officers went underground Thursday morning to hand…

Television

'Outlander' Season 1, Episode 7: 'The Wedding'

Claire and Jamie are man and wife!!! Like, ALL THE WAY, if you know what we mean. (Twice.)

Movies

Kevin Smith makes peace with the Internet

I was thinking about Ain't It Cool News and Harry Knowles last night, wondering if anyone from Ain't It Cool had reviewed my new movie…

Movies

Art imitates life in 'Swim Little Fish Swim'

There's a certain comfort to be taken in finding that young artists are still moving to New York and trying to make it — and…

Movies

Review: Terry Gilliam's 'The Zero Theorem' is better…

Terry Gilliam's latest, "The Zero Theorem," concerns a reclusive malcontent (Christoph Waltz) struggling with the search for the meaning of life.

NFL

Oday Aboushi ready for increased role, and to…

Oday Aboushi might feel comfortable enough to engage in some trash talk the next time he is on the field.

NFL

Giants vs. Texans: 3 things to watch

The Giants host the surprising Texans (2-0) in what may already be a must-win game for Big Blue.

NFL

Eric Decker misses practice again, could miss Monday

Jets wide receiver Eric Decker missed practice Thursday as he continues to rehab a hamstring injury suffered last Sunday.

MLB

Derek Jeter still focused on baseball as final…

Derek Jeter has effectively hid his emotions for 20 years in the Bronx.

Parenting

A sneaky way to serve kids fruits and…

"My First Juices and Smoothies" gives smoothie recipes for kids.

Style

3 things we love from Day 1 of…

The highlights from Day 1 of Milan Fashion Week.

Sex

Why don't more couples use condoms?

  Call it the “condom moment.” That’s the name the authors of a new study have given to the pivotal conversation every couple should be…

Sex

Need an idea for a first date? Here's…

Picture your idea of a nice first date. Is it dinner and a movie? A visit to an interesting museum exhibit? Instead, an expert on…