The best lines from the White House Correspondents’ Association dinner

Saturday night’s White House Correspondents’ Association dinner, the annual event where journalists and celebrities mix with the Washington elite, was definitely a laughing matter. Host Conan O’Brien threw some zingers at the media (“Yes, all the Washington news media are here tonight, including the stars of online journalism. I see the Huffington Post has a table. Yay! Which has me wondering, who is covering Miley Cyrus’ latest nip slip?”), but it was President Barack Obama who really brought the laughs.

Here are the top lines:

10. O’BRIEN: “Of course, probably the biggest story that people in this room covered this year was the Republican failure to recapture the White House. Hard to believe the Republicans didn’t fare better in the election with the support of celebrities like Ted Nugent and Meatloaf. I guess they overestimated the number of voters who still drive carpeted vans.”

9. OBAMA: “These days, I look in the mirror and I have to admit, I’m not the strapping young Muslim socialist that I used to be. Time passes. You get a little gray.”

8. O’BRIEN: “By the way, I have a question. And I think some of you also have this question. It’s been several months since you were reelected sir, so I’m curious, why are you still sending everyone five emails a day asking for more money? You won! Do you have a gambling problem we don’t know about?”

7. OBAMA: “One senator who has reached across the aisle recently is Marco Rubio, but I don’t know about 2016. I mean, the guy has not even finished a single term in the Senate and he thinks he’s ready to be president. Kids these days.”

6. OBAMA: “I remember when BuzzFeed was just something I did in college around 2 a.m.”

5. O’BRIEN: “This year you have taken it to new heights. I have to congratulate you. New heights, because you have some of the guys from “Duck Dynasty” here. Which can only mean one thing — the guys from “Storage Wars” said no.”

4. O’BRIEN: “The demographics of this country have been rapidly changing over the past two decades and I look forward to hosting this event 18 years from now. Then my opening line will be ‘Buenos noches …. president e Mario Lopez.”

3. OBAMA: “I’m also hard at work on plans for the Obama Library, and some have suggested that we put it in my birthplace, but I’d rather keep it in the United States.”

2. OBAMA: “I understand that when the Correspondents Association was considering Conan for this gig they were faced with that age ol’ dilemma: do you offer it to him now or wait for five years and then give it to Jimmy Fallon?”

1. O’BRIEN: “It’s been said recently that you don’t mess with Boston. As someone who grew up there, I’d like to echo that sentiment. It’s really pretty simple: if you’re going to pick on a city, don’t choose one where 9 out of 10 people are related to a cop.”


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