Sex strikes: A popular but disastrous tactic

You get what you want when you stage a strike. And here’s a message to male readers: For many women, sex strikes prove an efficient tactic to get concessions from their partner.

“Sex strikes are very common because they’re effective,” explains Chicago psychologist Kim Olver. “Women can easily get what they want by withholding. But usually they don’t say, ‘I’ll go on a strike to make him do what I want.’ It’s more of a subconscious attempt to get him to be different.”

Olver estimates that 75 percent of her patients have been involved with sex strikes.

“Women aren’t good communicators,” she suggests. “They withhold sex because they’re frustrated that their husbands don’t listen to them, but men aren’t mind-readers.

“If you want a romantic meal, you have to tell your husband exactly that.”

While sex strikes are effective, they poison the relationship. “They’re like prostitution,” says Dr. Dorree Lynn, a psychologist and the author of “Sex for Grownups.” And while the man may beg for a while, there’s a significant risk that he’ll instead turn to an extramarital affair.

Instead of sex strikes, Lynn recommends regular date nights. “Make time for yourselves as a couple,” she advises. “Remember that for women, foreplay begins in the morning. And don’t talk about difficult things in the bedroom.”


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