Royal Wedding: Metro’s live-blog of not having watched it

A lovely kiss, that we missed.

Did you watch the Royal Wedding? That’s awesome! We were up late (for work!) so we slept in and missed it. Here is our definitive live-blog of the experience.

3:50 a.m.: Guests arrive at Westminster Abbey. Metro is sound and solidly asleep.

4:00 a.m.: Prince William and Kate Middleton are given the titles Duke and Duchess of Cambridge. Metro rolls over.

5:14 a.m.: The Princes arrive. Metro has a dream about helping Julian Assange draft wide receivers for the St. Louis Rams.

6:07 a.m.: Kate Middleton arrives. Metro has no opinions about her dress, as we are too busy training cats in the art of dressage.

6:30 a.m.: The vows! Metro is awoken by sunlight streaming through our window. We check our cell phone for the time, see it’s way early, and roll over and fall asleep.

7:20 a.m.: Wills and Kate leave Westminster Abbey. Metro dreams that we need to help our ex-girlfriend dispose of the body of a man she accidentally killed with a crossbow.

7:50 a.m.: The couple arrives at Buckingham Palace. Metro’s alarm clock goes off very loudly shortly thereafter. Which is more exciting?

8:30 a.m.: William and Kate share a kiss on the palace balcony. It is quick, embarrassed, and sort of cute. Metro munches on a bowl of Honey Bunches of Oats. The experience is slow, contented, and not cute at all.

8:50 a.m.: The wedding is over: Will and Kate head somewhere luxurious. Metro quickly gets dressed, and heads off to our optometrist.

Did you watch the Royal Wedding? How did your experience compare?



News
Entertainment
Sports
Lifestyle
Local

Girl, 10, dies after being pulled from water…

A 10-year-old girl died after being pulled from the waters off Coney Island Beach in Brooklyn on Tuesday night, police said.

News

NY judge throws out lawsuit by Empire State…

A New York state judge has thrown out a lawsuit in which longtime investors in the Empire State Building claimed they were shortchanged out of hundreds of millions of dollars…

Local

Mysterious white flags appear over Brooklyn Bridge

Two white flags mysteriously appeared over the towers of the Brooklyn Bridge yesterday in place of the American flags that are a traditional fixture.

National

Judge sets January start for murder trial of…

By Elizabeth BarberBOSTON (Reuters) - Former New England Patriots player Aaron Hernandez will be tried in January for the murder of semi-professional football player Odin…

Television

'Pretty Little Liars' recap: Season 5, Episode 7,…

Drunk girls and ghost brownies: here’s your weekly ‘Pretty Little Liars’ recap by way of Q&A. Q: do they really not check for feet under…

Arts

Don't miss 'Charles James: Beyond Fashion' at the…

Have you been meaning to see "Charles James: Beyond Fashion"? There are only two weeks left to get to the Met and catch this amazing American fashion designer's collection.

Television

Zac Posen talks 'Project Runway' and what it…

We talked to Zac Posen, judge and designer extraordinaire, about the new season of "Project Runway" and what keeps him coming back after three seasons.

Television

'Face Off' contestant David 'DOC' O'Connell sounds off…

David "DOC" O'Connell tells us about getting cast on Season 7 of Syfy's "Face Off," premiering tonight at 9.

NFL

David Tyree hiring has gay rights advocates angry

Former Giants Super Bowl hero David Tyree will re-join the franchise as its new director of player development.

NFL

Ben McAdoo's new offense has Giants excited to…

Even Tom Coughlin feels he has a lot to learn about offensive coordinator Ben McAdoo’s new offense, which makes the veteran coach very excited.

MLB

MLB Power Rankings: A's, Angels, Dodgers, Brewers lead…

MLB Power Rankings: A's, Angels, Dodgers, Brewers lead pack

NFL

2014 NFL season betting odds: Which team will…

2014 NFL season betting odds: Which team will win Super Bowl?

Tech

Learn Braille with these gloves

U.S. scientists have designed high-tech gloves to help users understand Braille in a matter of minutes.

Home

5 New Ikea products that will change your…

We round-up the latest must-have products.

Food

Recipe: Wolfgang Puck's Buttermilk French Toast

We recently spent some time chatting with restauranteur/celebrity chef Wolfgang Puck at his Wolfgang Puck American Grille in the Borgata in Atlantic City. Puck wanted…

Style

Go retro with your sneakers

The best of wacky new sneakers.