Costa Concordia captain Francesco Schettino is truly no Sully Sullenberger

The stricken cruise liner Costa Concordia lies partially submerged off the Isola del Giglio.

When the moment comes, not all of us can rise to the occasion.

It’s very easy for us Internet denizens to sit in our chairs and tut-tut every decision made by every person in the news. If I was the CEO of Netflix, I would not have introduced Qwikster! If I was Kim Kardashian, I would have waited longer than 72 days before divorcing my fake husband! If I was Jerry Sandusky’s lawyer, I would have told him not to do a creepy interview on national television!

Still, we feel pretty safe saying that the captain of the Italian cruise ship that hit rock off the coast of Livorno Friday night probably should have stayed on the ship instead of bailing on the first opportunity — especially since the Italian authorities agree. In newly released conversations, both the Italian coast guard and the Livorno port authority are heard berating Captain Francesco Schettino for abandoning his ship:

Coast Guard Captain Gregario De Falco: “Where are you? On the lifeboats? All the officers?”

Schettino: “Yes, we are with the second commander…”

De Falco: “Forgive me, but before you were only with a sailor. If the officers managed to get down, it means that they could still move.”

Schettino: “Yes…in fact…

De Falco: “Then why don’t they get back on board? To monitor the operation and then they can tell us. Thank you.”

Schettino: “No it is not possible…”

De Falco: “Send them on board. Send one person on board to coordinate…”

Schettino: “But I am doing the coordination.”

De Falco: “I’m giving you an order captain. You need to send someone on board.”

Later, the Coast Guard captain is heard haranguing the weak-willed captainL

De Falco: “Look Schettino, you might have been saved from the sea, but I will make sure you go through a very rough time…I will make sure you go through a lot of trouble. Get on board, damn it.”

Audio of the conversations below, from the Guardian:

There probably will not be a “Tonight Show” spot in this doofus’ future.


News
Entertainment
Sports
Lifestyle
National

Florida man charged with murdering son to play…

A Florida man annoyed that his 16-month-old crying son was preventing him from playing video games suffocated the toddler, police said on Friday.

International

Powerful 7.2 magnitude earthquake rattles Mexico

A powerful earthquake struck Mexico Friday, shaking buildings and sending people running into the street, although there were no reports of major damage.

News

OMG! Exercise can make skin (and butt) look…

A moderate exercise regime can turn back time and actually reverse the skin's aging process, according to new research. The study showed that a minimum…

International

Jews in eastern Ukraine ordered to register, Kerry…

Secretary of State John Kerry condemned reports that Jews in eastern Ukraine had been ordered to register with the authorities "or suffer the consequences."

Entertainment

Whoopi Goldberg makes her debut as marijuana columnist

"It helps my head stop hurting, and with glaucoma your eyes ache, and she takes the ache out. It's wonderful," she said.

The Word

Kate Middleton made fun of Prince William's bald…

Kate Middleton and Prince William are in Sydney, Australia, right now, and it sounds like that brash Aussie sense of humor might be rubbing off.

The Word

Is Tom Cruise dating Laura Prepon?

"Mission: Impossible" star Cruise is said to be dating Laura Prepon, star of "Orange is the New Black."

Television

'Scandal' recap: Season 3, Episode 18, 'The Price…

Sally is Jesus, Olivia caused global warming, and Mellie's still drunk. Let's recap the Scandal finale. A church full of Washington insiders is about to…

NBA

Carmelo Anthony agonizing over Knicks future as season…

There’s still the cloud hanging over the franchise’s head as to the pending free-agent status of All-Star forward Carmelo Anthony.

NFL

Jets host players with eye toward NFL Draft

The Jets hosted a number of NFL Draft hopefuls for workouts on Thursday, with an eye toward some under-the-radar players.

NFL

Chris Johnson: I wanted to go to 'a…

Now that Chris Johnson is a Jet, the team has to figure out if one of the most explosive players in the NFL over the last half decade has anything…

NHL

Rangers' speed versus Flyers' size makes interesting playoff…

Among the myriad aspects that will make this Metropolitan Division semifinal series fascinating will be the battle between the Rangers' speed and the Flyers' size,…

Tech

VIDEO: 'Vein-scanning' may become the future of paying

Designed to make transactions quicker and easier, the technology works by scanning the unique vein patterns in each person's palm.

Tech

#FollowFriday: 10 of the smartest Twitter accounts

Spending lots of time on Twitter? You might as well learn something. Here are some of the smartest accounts to follow.

Style

Light-up nail art syncs with phone

This Japanese technology syncs light-up nail art with your phone.

Wellbeing

Why is dance cardio taking off in NYC?

Instructors at some of the city's hottest classes explain why.