Is flirting outside your relationship ever OK?

Krasinski’s only got eyes for his wife ... and Conan ... and maybe you.

Conan O’Brien recently offered a solution for the lonely-hearted: Watch his video of celebrities flirting directly with viewers. From John Krasinski to Emmy Rossum to Fred Armisen, the stars looked at the camera and acted like they were meeting you in a bar and hoped to hook up. Some of those flirters might be looking for love, but what about John Krasinski, who is married? Do you think his wife minded? In this case, he may have just been playing a role, but people in relationships deal with this question all the time: Is flirting good or bad?

The answer is that it depends. For everyone, putting yourself out there with other people of the opposite sex and making smart conversation helps you feel desirable and confident. If, however, you are already in a relationship, then you want to make sure all that heightened sexual energy is stored up for your partner, who you will share it with later. If your relationship is solid and you feel you are being given enough one-on-one time, then a little flirting is OK. Sometimes watching your partner flirt can even give you a sense of pride.

But if it makes you feel threatened, then it might not be such a good thing. If the foundation of a relationship isn’t strong, it can increase your feelings of doubt and mistrust. The person doing the flirting might feel good, but it might make the other partner feel insecure.

If that’s the case, it’s a good time to take stock and realize that rather than looking outward, you should focus your energy inward to work on strengthening your trust. You can do this by being affectionate, complimentary and expressing your love. If you still feel uncomfortable when your partner flirts with others, it can also help to set ground rules. For example, a little conversation might be OK — but if it goes beyond that and someone offers or asks for a phone number, the answer is no.
The goal is to make flirting work as a positive rather than a negative for your relationship.

— Relationship expert Dr. Jane Greer is the creator of “Shrink Wrap” – national commentary on what we can learn from celebrity relationships – and host of “Let’s Talk Sex” at Healthylife.net. Her book, “What About Me? Stop Selfishness From Ruining Your Relationship,” is available nationwide.

Metro does not endorse the opinions of the author, or any opinions expressed on its pages.



News
Entertainment
Sports
Lifestyle
National

California passes 'yes-means-yes' campus sexual assault bill

Californian lawmakers passed a law on Thursday requiring universities to adopt "affirmative consent" language in their definitions of consensual sex, part of a nationwide drive to curb sexual assault on…

National

Syrian refugees top 3 million, half of all…

By Stephanie NebehayGENEVA (Reuters) - Three million Syrian refugees will have registered in neighboring countries as of Friday, but many remain trapped by the advance…

International

North Korean leader's money manager defects in Russia:…

A senior North Korean banking official who managed money for leader Kim Jong Un has defected in Russia and was seeking asylum in a third country, a South Korean newspaper…

Local

MAP: New York City Street Closures August 29,…

The Department of Transportation and NYPD said there may be residual delays near all of the street closures on August 29, 31 and 31. Several streets and avenues will be…

Going Out

'Friends' coffeehouse Central Perk coming to NYC —…

"Friends" is coming back for a one-off special: "The One with the Free Coffee." Warner Bros. is bringing a pop-up replica of Central Perk, the…

Movies

Interview: 'As Above, So Below' directors: 5 ways…

The fraternal directors of the found footage horror "As Above, So Below" dish on the best ways to frighten the bejesus out of audiences.

Movies

Criterion's new Jacques Demy box mixes the light…

Jacques Demy, the most effervescent of French New Wave filmmakers, gets a Criterion box all to himself, with classics like "The Umbrellas of Cherbourg."

Entertainment

Comedian Joan Rivers, 81, rushed to New York…

NEW YORK (Reuters) - Acerbic comedian and fashion critic Joan Rivers was rushed to Mount Sinai Hospital in New York on Thursday after she reportedly…

NFL

3 things we learned in the Giants preseason…

The final score didn’t matter — a 16-13 win by the Giants — but it would’ve been nice to finally see Big Blue’s new-look offense get on track.

NFL

NFL Power Rankings: Seahawks, Broncos, Patriots, 49ers start…

NFL Power Rankings: Seahawks, Broncos, Patriots start at top

U.S. Soccer

5 facts about new England captain Wayne Rooney

Manchester United striker Wayne Rooney was named as the new England captain by coach Roy Hodgson on Thursday.

NFL

Jets vs. Eagles: 3 things to watch

A win on Thursday night at the Eagles would give the Jets a 3-1 record and just their second winning preseason under head coach Rex Ryan.

Style

Trend: White hot on the 2014 Emmy's red…

White was one of the big trends on the Emmy's red carpet.

Food

Recipe: Samuel Adams beer-marinated grilled shrimp

Summer calls for two things: a cold beer and light food. Sam Adams' Latitude 48 IPA fairly bursts with citrus notes, making it an ideal marinade…

Wellbeing

4 healthy ingredient swaps to make your meals…

When it comes to eating well, everyone knows they could be doing better. But cooking in an apartment on a busy schedule is a recipe…

Wellbeing

Heart trumps brain when it comes to movies…

When you need a good cry, do you reach for the movie that’s “based on a true story”? Science says you’re giving your brain far…