‘Are all guys a-holes?’ Amber Madison debunks myths about men

Amber Madison

Dating can be such a confusing, nerve-wracking experience that many women tend to believe certain “truths” about men in order to get some sense of security: “Men are biologically driven to cheat,” “men are scared of commitment” and “men care about looks more than anything else” are a few favorites. But sex and dating expert Amber Madison refused to believe that all of these assumptions were absolutes. To investigate, she traveled to ten cities and interviewed thousands of men to answer the question, “Are all guys a-holes?” Her book by that very name offers a surprising answer. Here are a few of Madison’s findings:

Guys only care about sex.

“Seventy-three percent of guys said their primary interest in women was someone to have a long-term relationship with. Eight percent said sex, and 18 percent said short-term companionship/dating,” she says.

Guys you meet in bars are sleazy.
“True, guys you meet in bars are in a sleazy frame of mind –they’re more likely to stretch the truth in order to get you in bed. But they are just as likely to want to find a girlfriend and get married as guys not in bars,” Madison says. “Sex may be their priority at the moment but it’s not their priority in general.”

Guys care about looks more than anything else.
“Only 30 percent of guys gave looks a five (on a one to five scale of importance), while many more gave humor, intelligence, being caring and ambition a five,” she says.

It’s a bad sign when a guy doesn’t kiss you at the end of a first date.
“Only 19 percent say they don’t kiss a girl after a date because they didn’t like her,” the author explains. “Thirty-four percent said they didn’t because it might be too forward, 21 percent said they didn’t have the opportunity and 12 percent said they wussed out.”

Guys don’t want to get married.
“Ninety-five percent of guys say they want to get married someday. They talk or think about marriage a lot.”

Guys want to make the first move.
Fifty percent of guys said a girl making the first move was a turn on, 45 percent don’t care either way and only 5 percent think it’s ‘too aggressive.’”


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