When is it time to face your past?
“Mirror Mirror” star Lily Collins was seen recently in pictures with Jamie Campbell Bower, taken while filming a movie together in Canada. That’s a change. We’re used to seeing Lily in photos with Zac Efron. But rumor has it that Lily and Zac have now split. Celebrities get together and break up in front of the camera all the time. But these days you don’t have to be a star to see your new love interest with an ex. With all the social media that comes into play today, it might be too easy to witness the relationship that came before yours. So what does this mean for your romantic future? And when, if ever, is it OK to talk about it?
In the old days, break-ups were much cleaner. Sure, there might be some old photos of an ex stuck in a box somewhere, but you would have to really snoop to find those. Now all you have to do is go to your new boyfriend or girlfriend’s Facebook page.
First, if you are the one leaving those old photos up, it’s time to take them down. You don’t have to destroy them. Maybe you can just move them to a private file on your computer. If, however, you are the one left to see your new flame with his or her old one, the first thing I’d suggest is to talk about it. There is a chance your partner isn’t aware the photos are up. If he or she leaves them there intentionally, don’t become angry or try to force their removal. Instead, keep those pics in mind. Know that they’re an indication that your new lover hasn’t made a clean break. As your partner asks you to go further into a relationship, remember those images and hold back a little in an effort to protect yourself. Until he or she hits that delete button, the person won’t be ready to fully move forward.
Celebrities like Lily and Jamie might not have control over the photos that end up in the magazines, but everyone has control over their Facebook pages.
– Relationship expert Dr. Jane Greer is creator of “Shrink Wrap” – national commentary on what we can learn from celebrity relationships – and host of “Let’s Talk Sex” at Healthylife.net. Her book, “What About Me? Stop Selfishness From Ruining Your Relationship,” is available now.