Ensure you’re on the same page in your relationship

Bachelorette Emily Maynard had to deny many suitors before passing out her final rose to fiance Jef Holm. 
.

Not all roads to romance offer a clear ride. Sometimes the signs are harder to read than others. As Emily Maynard, this season’s Bachelorette, handed out roses, the message was pretty clear: stay or go. But short of gathering for the ABC show’s famous rose ceremony, is it possible to miss the message? Might an important lane shift have taken place that you somehow didn’t notice? And what can you do to protect yourself against the turbulence of an unexpectedly bumpy ride?

Take for example, Lucy, who came to me for advice. She was dating a guy named Adam with the usual excitement and reservation that comes at the start of any promising possibility. But Adam took off, gaining speed faster than she expected: telling her how much he liked her, wanting her to meet his friends, calling and texting all the time. Since she liked him too, she joined in and went along for the ride. Before she knew it, though, she was ahead of him, and he had slowed down, suddenly saying he couldn’t keep up with her expectations. Because he continued to stay connected, she didn’t realize what that might mean. So she kept going at the same momentum. And then she didn’t hear from him. That was two weeks ago.

She was angry, and didn’t understand what had happened. How can you make sure you don’t get ahead of the relationship, particularly if one person is coming on strong? Before you let yourself go full-steam ahead, you might want to build in a few speed bumps for yourself. There are some people who jump into a relationship fast, and then want out fast, and you want to protect yourself from getting too attached if there is the chance that person could burn out.

You can do that by being aware of when and how much of your feelings you share. If they say they like you, you can reciprocate with an, “I like you too, let’s see where this goes.” If they want you to meet their friends, suggest you get to know each other a little better first. Build a foundation under the two of you before getting carried away.

When Adam told Lucy he couldn’t keep up with her, it was the equivalent of the Bachelorette’s not offering a rose. It just took her a little while to realize it, and by then she was halfway down the highway and looking forward to the road trip. Once you’re there, it’s harder to come back.

— Relationship expert Dr. Jane Greer is the creator of “Shrink Wrap” – national commentary on what we can learn from celebrity relationships – and host of “Let’s Talk Sex” at Healthylife.net. Her book, “What About Me? Stop Selfishness From Ruining Your Relationship,” is available nationwide.

Metro does not endorse the opinions of the author, or any opinions expressed on its pages.


News
Entertainment
Sports
Lifestyle
Local

Best nature spots for kids in New York…

When it comes to kids and nature, most U.S. parents agree: children should be spending more time outdoors. According to a recent survey by The…

Local

Man dead, another injured after stabbing during fight…

One man was killed and another was stabbed in the back after a fight broke out inside a Brooklyn McDonald's on Sunday night, police said.

Local

Man survives shooting in Bronx apartment building lobby

A man survived a shot to his abdomen on Sunday after authorities say an unknown suspect fired off inside the Bronx apartment building lobby.

News

Easter Egg hunt horror as skydiver plummets to…

A FAMILY Easter egg hunt ended in horror when a skydiver plummeted to his death in a New York garden after his parachute failed to…

The Word

There's going to be a 'Farscape' movie

Plans are underway to bring cult hit "Farscape" to the big screen.

The Word

Peaches Geldof's coffin featured a painting of her…

Sob. The coffin of 25-year-old Peaches Geldof featured a painting of her young family.

The Word

Terry Richardson tried to trade Vogue spread for…

Last night, model Emma Appleton tweeted a screenshot of a text that appeared to be a proposition from Terry Richardson.

Television

‘Mad Men’ recap: Season 7, Episode 2, ‘A…

Peggy and Lou are horrible, Bert's racist, Don is honest(ish) and Roger and Pete are frustrated. "A Day's Work" not quite worthy of "This Will Be Our Year."

NBA

Knicks fire head coach Mike Woodson

The long-expected ax fell on Knicks head coach Mike Woodson Monday morning.

NHL

Rangers let chance at victory slip away in…

All the Rangers had to do was hold serve in a raucous Madison Square Garden — roaring in anticipation of putting a hated rival in a 2-0 series hole.

MLB

Yankees place Ivan Nova on DL with partially…

Yankees starter Ivan Nova was diagnosed with a partially torn UCL in his throwing elbow Sunday.

NHL

Rangers never thought opening round would be 'an…

You might have thought the Metropolitan Division semifinal series was going to be a rout after watching Game 1 Thursday night. The Rangers did not.

Parenting

The 10 coolest summer camps for kids

Metro rounds up the coolest summer camps across the country.

Travel

Packing: The one thing you need in your…

A new survey that looks at the travel habits of 50,000 people around the world has revealed that Western and Asian globetrotters have different priorities…

Home

Is your chair making it hard to talk?

Ever wished there was an office chair that could make impromptu meetings and discussions more private? The Cristiana Wing Chair is an asymmetrical armchair which…

Travel

Live large at these luxury hotels

From Thai boxing lessons and macabre Dracula tours to the Australian Outback, the Four Seasons hotel chain launched a series of new travel packages this…