When is it a good time to meet your new flame’s family?

Swift would be wise not to move so fast with her relationships.

Superstar Taylor Swift and boyfriend Conor Kennedy hadn’t been dating long when he took her to a family wedding in August, despite reported requests that she not go because some worried Swift’s presence would take away from the bride’s attention. That’s a problem most of us don’t have to worry about, but it does raise the question: When is it a good time to meet your new flame’s family? And is it really ever a good idea to attend a big family event so early in a relationship?

Sometimes the timing can’t be helped. You have been dating for a few weeks and his sister just happens to be getting married next week. Or it’s his older brother’s birthday bash and everyone will be there. On the one hand, it can feel flattering that your new partner seems to be so into you that they want to bring you to a big family party and meet the important people in their lives. On the other hand, you might be walking right into a judgment fest where, if you haven’t established your own strong connection yet, your newly significant other might be too easily swayed away from you should his or her family suggest you aren’t the right match. Instead of gaining favor, you run the risk of getting the seal of disapproval.

Think of it as building a good fire. Sometimes the top takes off right away, burning high. But if there isn’t a hot, smoldering base, that fast fire can quickly fizzle out. Take the time to establish a foundation before opening yourself up to any possible criticism. If you are asked to that wedding or birthday celebration early on, you can politely decline — but add that you would love to go to the next occasion. That will give you a chance to build a solid relationship. When you do meet the family, you are already an item and your new partner can better withstand any negative comments that might come your way.

Swift and Kennedy didn’t choose this path, but jumped right in. She has met the family, attended big events and even visited the grave of Kennedy’s recently deceased mother. Only time will tell if their foundation will be strong enough to sustain them.

— Relationship expert Dr. Jane Greer is creator of “Shrink Wrap” – national commentary on what we can learn from celebrity relationships – and host of “Let’s Talk Sex” at Healthylife.net. Her book, “What About Me? Stop Selfishness From Ruining Your Relationship,” is available nationwide.

Metro does not endorse the opinions of the author, or any opinions expressed on its pages.

                                                                                                                                        



News
Entertainment
Sports
Lifestyle
Local

Brooklyn man charged in roommate's stabbing death

A Brooklyn man accused of violently stabbing his roommate to death on Monday is in police custody and faces murder charges.

International

Dinosaurs could have survived asteroid strike

It turns out there is a good and a bad time for the planet to be hit by a meteor, and dinosaurs were just unlucky.…

National

OkCupid admits to Facebook-style experimenting on customers

By Sarah McBrideSAN FRANCISCO (Reuters) - OkCupid, a top U.S. matchmaking website, intentionally mismatched users to test its technology, the IAC/InterActive Corp service said on…

Local

MTA fares still increasing 4 percent in newly…

The agency said the 4 percent increases, previously announced in December, will remain steady even as the MTA deals with increasing labor costs.

Movies

Interview: Brendan Gleeson on the way 'Calvary' depicts…

Brendan Gleeson talks about how his new film "Calvary" began over drinks and how his character here is the opposite of the lead in "The Guard."

Movies

'Get on Up' producer Mick Jagger on the…

Mick Jagger, a producer on the James Brown biopic "Get on Up," talks about the time had to tell the singer some bad news and his favorite JB record.

Television

'Glee' star Lea Michele to appear on 'Sons…

"Glee" star Lea Michele has been confirmed as a guest star in the final season of "Sons of Anarchy."

Television

TV watch list, Monday, July 28: 'The Bachelorette'…

See Andi Dorfman make her big choice on tonight's 'Bachelorette' finale.

MLB

Angelo Cataldi: Ryan Howard deserves better from Phillies

Just last week, Ryan Howard endured the embarrassment of a benching that was inevitable, and yet still shocking.

NFL

Larry Donnell has inside track in Giants tight…

Little-known Larry Donnell of Grambling State currently has the inside track, as the second-year player has received the bulk of the first-team reps.

NFL

Computer to Jets: Start Michael Vick over Geno…

Jets general manager John Idzik says the choice of who starts between second-year quarterback Geno Smith and veteran Michael Vick will be a “Jets decision.”

MLB

Yankees looking to trade for Josh Willingham: Report

CBS Sports’ Jon Heyman reported Sunday the Yankees are interested in Twins outfielder Josh Willingham.

Travel

Glasgow: Hey, hey, the gangs aren't here

This European city has done a good job getting rid of its more violent residents and revitalizing with artists.

Education

Babson College tops list of best colleges for…

Money magazine has just released its inaugural list of "The Best Colleges for Your Money" -- and the answers have surprised many. Babson College, which…

Education

NYC teens learn how to develop apps during…

Through a program sponsored by CampInteractive, the high schoolers designed their own community-focused apps.

Tech

The Ministry of Silly Walks app is both…

Monty Python have dug into their back catalogue for cash-ins once more, but with the Ministry of Silly Walks app, they've made something that's fun too.