Taking cheating to the internet: The signs of online infidelity

“If they turn off the screen or click off their phone, if at night they don’t leave the phone or screen on or around because they don’t want you checking, if they don’t want to give you their password, if they have multiple phones and email accounts and also if they’re excited to go on the computer, what’s so exciting about going on computer?”

The temptation of an online affair is one that many cannot resist, particularly with the prevalence of social media in today’s society.

Dr. Janis Abrahms Spring, a renowned clinical psychologist and author of the popular book, “After the Affair,” recently released a second edition of the self-help book for couples. The updated edition features a section based on what she calls the “new” infidelity, which refers to online affairs.

Dr. Spring believes that the number of affairs taking place in America is “enormous” and she predicts that the issue is only going to get worse due to the amount of time people are spending online.

“The landscape has changed dramatically, people are spending hours chatting with others,” Dr. Spring says, “Partners can feel very, very betrayed by these relationships, because affairs at their core are not necessarily about sex but about secrets and the violation of trust.”

Dr. Spring suggests that couples should talk about what they’re comfortable with in terms of how they can communicate with others online.

“They have got to be explicit about what constitutes an affair,” she says. “If your partner was in the room looking over your shoulder watching what you’re watching or reading what you’re writing and they’re feeling uncomfortable, you know you’re doing something wrong.”

But what is it exactly that makes people want to have an online affair?

“You can be anyone you dream of being,” Dr. Spring says. “This experience of transcending your ordinary self, its very powerful … it’s not complicated by reality.”

 She adds that many unfaithful partners are not necessarily attracted to the person they’re communicating with, but rather how the experience makes them feel.

“It’s a great rush for the person who’s corresponding that way because it allows them to go outside of their normal self.”

But is it okay for someone to check their partners Facebook or their emails in order to uncover the truth and put a stop to the issue?

“I understand why people check, it’s human nature to check,” she says. “People want the truth and they believe they can’t get the truth from their partner.”


News
Entertainment
Sports
Lifestyle
News

OMG! Exercise can make skin (and butt) look…

A moderate exercise regime can turn back time and actually reverse the skin's aging process, according to new research. The study showed that a minimum…

News

Mets mascot Mr. Met target of Bill Clinton…

Mets mascot Mr. Met has told how he ended up in the crosshairs of a Secret Service sniper rifle. The man behind the Mr. Met…

International

Jews in eastern Ukraine ordered to register, Kerry…

Secretary of State John Kerry condemned reports that Jews in eastern Ukraine had been ordered to register with the authorities "or suffer the consequences."

National

Chelsea Clinton pregnant with first child

Chelsea Clinton is pregnant with her first child.

Movies

Review: 'Transcendence' is not stupid but sometimes lacks…

The cyberthriller "Transcendence" explores artificial intelligence, nanotechnology and other ethical quandaries, but has too much ambition, if anything.

Television

Dick Wolf to bring fictionalized world of 'Law…

A&E has ordered a pilot called "D.O.A." from "Law and Order" mastermind Dick Wolf that will focus on real detectives reexamining cold cases. A trio…

Television

Shane West talks WGN America's 'Salem'

The actor on history lessons, a new network and showing his butt.

Movies

Review: 'Fading Gigolo' finds few jokes in women…

John Turturro writes, directs and stars in "Fading Gigolo," in which he plays a prostitute whose pimp is Woody Allen. And there's still very few jokes.

NHL

Rangers draw first blood against Flyers in Game…

Brad Richards and Derek Stepan scored power-play goals 47 seconds apart to lead the Rangers to a 4-1 win.

NBA

Carmelo Anthony agonizing over Knicks future as season…

There’s still the cloud hanging over the franchise’s head as to the pending free-agent status of All-Star forward Carmelo Anthony.

NFL

Jets host players with eye toward NFL Draft

The Jets hosted a number of NFL Draft hopefuls for workouts on Thursday, with an eye toward some under-the-radar players.

NFL

Chris Johnson: I wanted to go to 'a…

Now that Chris Johnson is a Jet, the team has to figure out if one of the most explosive players in the NFL over the last half decade has anything…

Style

Light-up nail art syncs with phone

This Japanese technology syncs light-up nail art with your phone.

Wellbeing

Why is dance cardio taking off in NYC?

Instructors at some of the city's hottest classes explain why.

Travel

Earth Day travel in the Florida Keys

See why this eco-friendly destination deserves your attention.

Tech

Sorry, Facebook — FarmVille goes mobile with 'Country…

Zynga has released a version of the hit "FarmVille" tailored for smartphones and tablets in the hope of reaping a bumper crop of players.