No More Drama: Learn to cope with unusual anxieties

Any man would be a little nervous to talk to Heidi Klum. But the hottie at the bar? Totally approachable. Work past your fears of rejection — chicks dig confidence.

Most of us can identify with nomophobia — the fear of being without technology — and Venustraphobia — the fear of beautiful women — at least to some extent. I have patients who complain that they panic without cell phone service or are frightened by gorgeous people. So, it is all very normal to feel these things. In the world of labeling our behaviors and feelings though, we have names for almost everything.

Nomophobia

Nomophobia is derived from the words “no mobile” and came from a 2008 British study where approximately half of all participants reported feeling some form of stress or anxiety in the absence of mobile phone use. This is consistent with what I see with some of my patients as well. The symptoms include checking your phone frequently for messages, feeling anxious without it, using the phone in inappropriate places (such as a house of worship) and feeling “naked” without it. Nomophobia is one of those technology-derived disorders and a reflection of our 24/7 news cycle, in which people feel they have to be connected and accessible at all times. Fifteen years ago, this problem hardly existed. Here’s how to combat nomophobia:  

Monitor your use.
Know when your use is heaviest. Is it at night when you’re lonely? Or is it when you are bored? Address the underlying issues.  
   
Carve out acceptable times to check or use your telephone.
Some ideas might be: on your lunch break, before work or only for really important calls during the workday.
   
To ensure that you don’t lose access, take precautions like charging the phone prior to leaving home.

Venustraphobia

Venustraphobia is the fear of beautiful women. As with most phobic responses, the person will experience classic symptoms if faced with beautiful women, or even merely thinking about them. Shortness of breath, nausea, dry mouth, perspiring and an inability to think or speak clearly are all typical. A common adaptive response is to avoid beautiful women at all costs.  

The ramifications could be missing work, not developing romantic or even platonic relationships and depression. The treatment: Address the underlying beliefs and test out how true or false they are. For example, people with Venustra-phobia might think, “She’ll reject me.” Ask yourself: How do you know if she’ll reject you?

– Jonathan Alpert is a licensed psychotherapist. His book, “Be Fearless: Change Your Life in 28 Days,” is available now. E-mail him your questions at jonathan@jonathanalpert.com

Metro does not endorse the opinions of the author.



News
Entertainment
Sports
Lifestyle
Local

Drive charged in fatal hit and run, police…

The NYPD has arrested a man they say is responsible for a fatal hit and run in Manhattan last weekend. Doohee Cho, 33, was hit…

Local

Mayor de Blasio raises minimum wage for some…

Mayor Bill de Blasio signed an executive order Tuesday morning that will raise the minimum wage for workers employed by private companies that receive more…

National

3 myths about the working poor

Linda Tirado works to debunk some common stereotypes about the working poor in her new book, "Hand to Mouth."

Money

Lawsuit funding advances: friend or foe?

Reporter was commissioned to write this in-depth article Many plaintiffs awaiting resolution of their lawsuit or legal claim often find themselves in a tricky financial…

Going Out

Which NYC restaurant lost its three-star Michelin rating?

A record 73 restaurants in New York City collected coveted Michelin stars on Tuesday as a mix of trendy spots and fine-dining stalwarts underscored the…

Entertainment

Interview: Metro chats with filmmaker Meir Kalmanson, man…

A New York filmmaker hands out smiles to its residents.

Television

TV watch list, Tuesday, Sept. 30: 'Selfie,' 'Utopia'…

'Selfie' This modern day take on the "My Fair Lady" story stars John Cho in the Henry Higgins role. Perhaps instead of "the rain in…

Music

Can't-miss weekend events continue to attract the masses

Reporter was commissioned to write this in-depth article Earlier this summer, the Firefly Music Festival drew crowds of tens of thousands of people to Dover, Delaware.…

MLB

Mets 2014 report card

The Mets wrapped up their eight straight season without a playoff appearance last weekend. Needless to say, they fell a bit short of general manager…

NFL

NFL Power Rankings: Cowboys, Packers, Ravens, Chargers climb

NFL Power Rankings: Cowboys, Packers, Ravens, Chargers climb

NFL

Ryan Quigley making a big impact for Jets…

Ryan Quigley, now in his second year as the Jets punter, had an exceptional afternoon with six punts for an average of 51.7 yards per punt.

NFL

3 positives to take from Jets loss to…

The Jets suffered another loss Sunday — 24-17 to the Lions — but the reason why it hurts so much for Jets fans is that…

Style

Products that support breast cancer awareness and research

Asics GT-1000, $100 Asics’ third pink collection in collaboration with Christina Applegate’s Right Action for Women includes this pink-accented version of its best-selling GT-1000 3…

Wellbeing

Dr. Marisa Weiss: Where we stand on breast…

As an oncologist and a survivor herself, Dr. Marisa Weiss knows the urgency felt by those diagnosed with breast cancer. Genetic testing has accelerated the…

Wellbeing

Bees' stingers hold new hope for cancer cure

A promising new lead in the search for a cancer cure has turned up in a place that most people naturally avoid. A team from…

Home

Emily Henderson on small space design

Design expert Emily Henderson shows us how to upgrade our cramped quarters.