Worst of Craigslist: Tuesday August 16

No prior experience as a pale redhead, or is there something you’re not telling us here?



Funny, some lady on the subway told me the same thing this morning:



I’d love to be a fly on the wall at this job interview:
 

Never trust a “pro” wrestler who can’t compensate you til payday:



How do you lose a turtle in the first place? It’s not like they can run away.


QUICKEST WAY TO COMMUNICATE YOU’RE A PROFESSIONAL: TURN OFF CAPS LOCK.



Other hard-hitting investigative questions include: is your husband a male? Does he have Internet access?



Seriously, what is it with Craigslist and feet? Or people who love feet (4ever)?



I just don’t see this ending well:



Did this dude learn English by watching PBS NewsHour? Or is he the most enthusiastic thesaurus-user ever? Either way, can’t quite grasp what went down here, but sounds kinky as hell:



Pretty sure he remembered you. You were the strange man who stuck a camera in his face because he looked “happy”:



Didn’t realize Shark Week was a “where.” Don’t send me messages to the contrary; I don’t care about your punk houses or bicycle festivals. Give the poor guy his water bottle back; it’s obviously irreplaceable.

I would hate to see how an eight-foot python conveys “moods”:



I gather you imagine lots of things:



A question that has crossed every woman’s mind at some point:



ME: Awkwardly leaning over the counter while softly panting! YOU: Backing away slowly with fear in your eyes! US: WILL ONLY EVER HAPPEN IN MY HEAD!!



News
Entertainment
Sports
Lifestyle
Local

Astoria minivan crash kills 1, injures 6: NYPD

Anthony Boyd, 45, died soon after what investigators believe was some sort of medical emergency as he drove his family through Astoria on Sunday afternoon.

Local

NYC pension funds valued at $160b: Scott Stringer

The five NYC pension funds that thousands of city employees contribute to saw its fifth year in a row of increased returns, up $23 billion from last year.

International

Sierra Leone Ebola patient, recovered from family, dies…

An Ebola patient whose family sparked a nationwide hunt when they forcefully removed her from a treatment center and took her to a traditional healer has died.

Local

VIDEO: Cop reassigned as NYPD investigates alleged head…

An officer alleged to have stomped on a Brooklyn man's head last week had his gun taken away and placed on modified duty.

Music

Newport Folk Festival: Photo gallery of 35 moments…

As has been the tradition since Bob Dylan plugged in a bajillion years ago, the Newport Folk Festival embraces more musical genres than its name implies.

Music

MKTO: Behind the bromance

MKTO's Malcolm Kelley and Tony Oller talk about the American Dream tour, Demi Lovato and getting turned down by girls.

Arts

James Earl Jones and Rose Byrne head to…

Two-time Tony winner James Earl Jones returns to the New York stage next month as an eccentric grandfather in a revival of the 1930s comedy…

Movies

Box office: Scarlett Johansson wins battle of brains…

Scarlett Johansson's "Lucy" handily dispatched with Dwayne Johnson's "Hercules" over the weekend.

MLB

Yankees looking to trade for Josh Willingham: Report

CBS Sports’ Jon Heyman reported Sunday the Yankees are interested in Twins outfielder Josh Willingham.

MLB

Joe Torre: I'm in Hall of Fame because…

Joe Torre spent 18 years putting together a near Hall of Fame career as a player. But it was the 12 years he spent as…

MLB

Yankees GM Brian Cashman breaks down art of…

The action frequently accelerates as the non-waiver trade deadline approaches, as it will on Thursday.

Auto racing

Jeff Gordon captures fifth title at Brickyard 400

Jeff Gordon captures fifth title at Brickyard 400

Tech

Amazon offers 3D printing to customize earrings, bobble…

By Deepa SeetharamanSAN FRANCISCO (Reuters) - Amazon.com Inc will offer 3D printing services that allow customers to customize and build earrings, bobble head toys and…

Wellbeing

This Week In Health: Friends share similar DNA,…

Friends share similar DNA, study finds Location: U.S. Study subjects: Nearly 2,000 people Results: When it comes to our social networks, it seems that birds of…

Education

Are liberal arts colleges turning away from the…

Bryn Mawr College, a small women's college located just outside of Philadelphia, announced last week that it would be making standardized tests like the SAT…

Education

Recent grads discover school superintendent plagiarized parts of…

  Two recent high school graduates made a surprising discovery about the commencement speech their school superintendent delivered at their graduation: portions of it was copied…