New Jersey: So much more than one stereotype

I grew up just across the river from Lambertville, NJ, went to high school in Princeton and lived for four years in Jersey City. So, I consider myself a valid authority on all things Garden State.

So, when Metro learned a satirical map of the state (made by Rutgers grad Joe Stanfield) was going around, I took it upon myself to investigate, and pass judgment upon its accuracy. And there is good news: With the exception of one thing, the map is fairly accurate.

–Wildwood and pretty much all of South Jersey are filled with Philly trash.

–“Deliverance” could have been filmed in the Pine Barrens.

–I wouldn’t inhale too deeply around Linden.

–Camden is like Detroit, except imagine if the auto industry never happened. So, like, no jobs. Ever.

So far, so good. But look at the map below, and try to spot what’s wrong:

Did you find it? It’s this: Hipsters are anathema to Hoboken.

Do hipsters paint sparkly shamrocks on their faces and do Jager bombs with their friends from Rutgers on St. Paddy’s Day? Do hipsters wear NFL jerseys and root for the Steelers on Sunday afternoons? Do hipsters take the PATH to their finance/marketing/sales/PR job “in the city” every morning?

No.

And all of that happens in Hoboken.

See, everyone thinks New Jersey is the stereotype of fake-tanned, big-haired guidos you see on that MTV show. But we’re so much more than just one cliché, we are lots of stereotypes! Hill people, and Pineys and hybrid-driving lawyers. Just not hipsters. There are no hipsters in Jersey.


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