Bar rules: At jm Curley, no flatulence or whining

Don’t bother sitting in this chair at jm Curley’s if you’re going to be a jerk.

If you’re going to act like a “d— bag,” don’t bother pulling up a stool at jm Curley’s bar.

The new Downtown Crossing watering hole and restaurant, named after former Boston Mayor James Michael Curley, has a host of rules that the staff hopes people abide by.

The general rule? “Just don’t be a d— bag,” which is made known at the bar and is posted on its website as “Law and Order.”

The online rules state in part: “Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour’s date, nor his manservant, … nor his cocktail, barstool, space.”

But with Boston being rated the fifth rudest city in the country, according to a recent survey conducted by Travel & Leisure, matched with the Daily Beast’s nomination as the drunkest, too, jm Curley may be onto something when it comes to bar etiquette.

Isaac Sussman, bartender at The Independent in Somerville, said there are a lot of things customers do that can be out of line.

“Waving people down, not saying please and thank you — it’s common courtesy, really,” he said.

According to Sussman, general politeness is key and can go a long way with someone  who is not just waiting on you, but many other people as well.

The rules at jm Curley highlight that concept and take it a step further.

“No one on our staff goes by ‘hey,’ ‘yo,’ ‘buddy,’ ‘tiger,’ or ‘pal,’” the rules state.

Oh, and also, “no groping, grab a—, mauling, sucking face, canoodling, or heavy petting” allowed.

etro’s rules

When Metro heard about the “rules” at jm Curley, we couldn’t help but think of many more that could be on its list after having some less-than-stellar nights out:
Less flare: Nobody wants to have a stare-off with you, bro. Stop flaring your nostrils and enjoy your beer.
Checking out: Avoid staring at your cellphone all night and logging into FourSquare while live-tweeting what beer you’re drinking. Enjoy your surroundings.
Extra baggage: What’s worse then getting banged around by someone’s backpack on a crowded Green Line train? Getting pummeled by one in a crowded bar. Leave the luggage at home.
Dollar Holler: This isn’t the Golden Banana, so don’t expect to get the bartender’s attention by waving your dollars in the air like it’ll get someone to drop trou.
Axe the smell: One spray of your body odor cover-up is more than enough. You’re burning our nose hairs with that deodorant spray.

Tweeters’ rules

@HeyRatty: ppl who step up to the bar without knowing what they want. Step aside for the big kids who know how to properly order a drink.
@strongaLegacy: The girls that wear stiletto heels they can barely walk in sober, never mind drunk.
@firetomfriedman: People glued to their phones. If you can’t be in a social situation w/o clutching     your security blanket, stay home.
@RingPRgirl: Yell loudly so you end up involved in conversations you want no part of.
@AndreasSmoke: Frat boys @ calm bar destroy the mood with their loud selves or that one guy that asks for a discount on a bud light -_- #annoyed.
@kuhriztin: False confidence

Follow Steve Annear on Twitter @steveannear


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