A comprehensive list of everything that could go wrong if you try to jump between subway platforms

Nope. Nooooooooooooooooooope.

Below, a comprehensive list of everything that could go wrong if you try to jump between subway platforms:

1. You could be hit in midair by a passing train.

2. You could fail the jump, and get electrocuted to death by the third rail.

3. You could fail the jump, get stunned by the third rail, and get hit by a passing train.

4. You could fail the jump and be immediately hit by a passing train.

5. You could fail the jump and injure yourself so badly that you are unable to get up, and then get hit by a passing train that arrives a little while later.

6. You could fail the jump and snag a piece of your clothing on the track, and then get hit by a passing train that arrives when you are still trying to free yourself.

7. You could fail the jump and lack the upper-body strength to pull yourself to safety, and then get hit by a passing train that arrives a little while later.

8. You could make the jump but have your momentum carry you down into the next track, where you could be hit immediately by a passing train.

9. You could make the jump but have your momentum carry you down into the next track, where you could be electrocuted by the third rail.

10. You could make the jump but have your momentum carry you down into the next track, where you could get stunned by the third rail, and then get hit by a passing train.

11. You could make the jump but have your momentum carry you down into the next track, where you could injure yourself so badly that you are unable to get up, and then get hit by a passing train that arrives a little while later.

12. You could make the jump but have your momentum carry you down into the next track, where you could snag a piece of your clothing on the track, and then get hit by a
passing train that arrives when you are still trying to free yourself.

13. You could make the jump but have your momentum carry you down into the next track, where  you could lack the upper-body strength to pull yourself to safety, and then get hit by a passing train that arrives a little while later.

14. You could make the jump, and injure yourself upon landing.

So, in retrospect, these two got off relatively easy

(via Gawker)



News
Entertainment
Sports
Lifestyle
National

California passes 'yes-means-yes' campus sexual assault bill

Californian lawmakers passed a law on Thursday requiring universities to adopt "affirmative consent" language in their definitions of consensual sex, part of a nationwide drive to curb sexual assault on…

National

Syrian refugees top 3 million, half of all…

By Stephanie NebehayGENEVA (Reuters) - Three million Syrian refugees will have registered in neighboring countries as of Friday, but many remain trapped by the advance…

International

North Korean leader's money manager defects in Russia:…

A senior North Korean banking official who managed money for leader Kim Jong Un has defected in Russia and was seeking asylum in a third country, a South Korean newspaper…

Local

MAP: New York City Street Closures August 29,…

The Department of Transportation and NYPD said there may be residual delays near all of the street closures on August 29, 31 and 31. Several streets and avenues will be…

Going Out

'Friends' coffeehouse Central Perk coming to NYC —…

"Friends" is coming back for a one-off special: "The One with the Free Coffee." Warner Bros. is bringing a pop-up replica of Central Perk, the…

Movies

Interview: 'As Above, So Below' directors: 5 ways…

The fraternal directors of the found footage horror "As Above, So Below" dish on the best ways to frighten the bejesus out of audiences.

Movies

Criterion's new Jacques Demy box mixes the light…

Jacques Demy, the most effervescent of French New Wave filmmakers, gets a Criterion box all to himself, with classics like "The Umbrellas of Cherbourg."

Entertainment

Comedian Joan Rivers, 81, rushed to New York…

NEW YORK (Reuters) - Acerbic comedian and fashion critic Joan Rivers was rushed to Mount Sinai Hospital in New York on Thursday after she reportedly…

NFL

3 things we learned in the Giants preseason…

The final score didn’t matter — a 16-13 win by the Giants — but it would’ve been nice to finally see Big Blue’s new-look offense get on track.

NFL

NFL Power Rankings: Seahawks, Broncos, Patriots, 49ers start…

NFL Power Rankings: Seahawks, Broncos, Patriots start at top

U.S. Soccer

5 facts about new England captain Wayne Rooney

Manchester United striker Wayne Rooney was named as the new England captain by coach Roy Hodgson on Thursday.

NFL

Jets vs. Eagles: 3 things to watch

A win on Thursday night at the Eagles would give the Jets a 3-1 record and just their second winning preseason under head coach Rex Ryan.

Style

Trend: White hot on the 2014 Emmy's red…

White was one of the big trends on the Emmy's red carpet.

Food

Recipe: Samuel Adams beer-marinated grilled shrimp

Summer calls for two things: a cold beer and light food. Sam Adams' Latitude 48 IPA fairly bursts with citrus notes, making it an ideal marinade…

Wellbeing

4 healthy ingredient swaps to make your meals…

When it comes to eating well, everyone knows they could be doing better. But cooking in an apartment on a busy schedule is a recipe…

Wellbeing

Heart trumps brain when it comes to movies…

When you need a good cry, do you reach for the movie that’s “based on a true story”? Science says you’re giving your brain far…