Choosing my loved one’s casket is just like buying a car

Credit: Wiki Commons.
Credit: Wiki Commons.

Let me preface this column by saying no one is dead. Well, at some point, we will all be dead, but no one I am writing about is, as yet, deceased.

That is why it was weird to be pre-planning a funeral. For financial reasons, I needed to set aside money and pay for the funeral of a loved one. Who is not yet dead. I know it makes fiscal sense, but it felt rather odd. It also felt a bit rude, like planning a big party but not inviting the guest of honor.

Pre-planning this funeral has been on my “To Do” list for a long time. Not surprisingly, I kept putting it off. There just never was a day when I awoke and thought: “Say! I think I feel like picking out a casket!”

But I finally made myself do it. I selected a Mayfair funeral home that is well-known and near where my family grew up. When I visited the home one day the funeral director was very kind and told me it was better to make all these decisions now, then after the death when I’ll be stressed and upset.

First, I had to fill out some paperwork. I looked to my left and noticed a line of paper bags filled with cardboard boxes. It dawned on me what might be in the boxes.

“Um, are those people?” I asked.

“Yes, those are cremated remains,” he answered.

“Hello,” I said, waving at the cremains.

It felt rude not to.

Next I had to pick out a Mass card. My choices included Catholic saints, pictures of Jesus praying, pictures of Jesus with a shiny halo, and Jesus with a bleeding, open-chest wound which displayed his pierced, glowing heart.

Listen, I went through 16 years of Catholic school (St. Timothy’s elementary school, Saint Basil Academy and Villanova University) but even I think a bleeding, glowing heart is too much. Especially on a laminated plastic card.

Instead, I got St. Patrick on one side of the card and the Irish blessing on the other. Then we discussed the church, the obituary and the burial plot.

After that came the strangest part – picking out a casket. I decided the best way to get through it was to act like I was buying a car. And most of my cars have been economy models. The person for whom I planned the funeral is a penny-pincher and wouldn’t want something fancy.

The funeral director showed me a beautiful wood casket that gleamed. I stared in awe. Then I realized I liked it because it looked like something that should go in my living room, not in the ground.

Moving on. I asked to see the cheapest casket. Nope. It looked and felt like tin. I believe in “economy” models, but not that extreme. I finally chose something equivalent to the Hyundai of caskets, but a nice Hyundai – like the Elantra I drive.

Last, I selected a grave liner, which seemed silly. But apparently it is required in the cemetery where the funeral plot is located.

So pre-planning a funeral is off my To Do list and “Meet George Clooney” can go back at the top. And when the sad day finally comes, at least I can gaze upon St. Patrick’s face instead of Jesus’ bleeding, glowing heart.

Kathryn Quigley is an Associate Professor of Journalism at Rowan University and a native Philadelphian. She can be reached at

Follow Kathryn Quigley on Twitter: @WriterChickNJ

Follow Metro Philadelphia on Twitter: @metrophilly

Follow Metro Philadelphia on Facebook: Metro Philadelphia


Mutant worms stay sober, even on alcohol

U.S. researchers have developed "mutant worms" that do not get drunk by alcohol, a breakthrough that could lead to new treatment for people trying to quit drinking


K-9 nose helps capture $150K in cocaine at…

A furry, four-legged security agent helped authorities stop an illegal cocaine shipment from sneaking past JFK customs.


Minnesota man asked to leave Southwest flight after…

A man and his two sons were asked to leave a Southwest Airlines flight after the man sent a tweet complaining about being treated rudely by a gate agent.


Man sues hospital after surprise penis amputation

An Alabama man who went in to a hospital last month for a circumcision awoke after surgery to find his penis had been amputated, his lawyer said on Thursday.


Review: Brett Ratner's big 'Hercules' movie is small…

The latest "Hercules," starring Dwayne Johnson as the half-god beefcake of Greek myth, strips its hero and tale of most of its fantastical elements.


Scientists recreate world's smallest Monet copy

Scientists have reproduced a famous Impressionist painting using nano-printing, to create what has been described as the world's smallest work of art. Reworked at the…


Jerry Seinfeld is ambidextrous, and other Reddit AMA…

See some of the weirder highlights of Jerry Seinfeld's recent Reddit AMA.

Going Out

Grab a pedestrian and start dancing at What…

As a New Yorker, I’ve mastered the art of focusing my gaze straight ahead. Though it occasionally piques my interest, the absurdities that play out…


2014 NFL Fantasy Football Top 100 overall player…

2014 NFL Fantasy Football Top 100 overall player rankings

U.S. Soccer

NYCFC announce signing of Frank Lampard

The tease of a big signing Thursday by new MLS side NYCFC ended up being one rumored for weeks. England midfielder Frank Lampard agreed to…


NBA great LeBron James sends 800 cupcake apologies…

By Kim PalmerCLEVELAND (Reuters) - NBA star LeBron James, whose recent return to the Cleveland Cavaliers in his home state of Ohio sparked a frenzy…


Jerry Reese confident with Giants, skipping countdown clocks…

Last year, Giants GM Jerry Reese installed a countdown clock in the locker room to inspire Big Blue to play in their own stadium for Super Bowl XLVIII.


Forget Wi-Fi: Li-Fi could be the future

Li-Fi technology – developed by Mexican company Sisoft – is wireless internet connectivity using specialized LED light.


Weather app Climendo might be the most accurate…

The wait for a truly accurate weather forecast could finally be over thanks to a nifty new app called Climendo.


Napkin Table puts focus off the phone and…

Michael Jan, a design student at Tunghai University in Taiwan, has invented a serviette-picnic blanket hybrid called the Napkin Table.


Essie's new Color Boutique

Essie launches high-tech kiosks at major airports and malls across the country.