Merry Allston Christmas
For most Americans, Monday will be a day of celebrating (or mourning) the end of summer with backyard BBQs, cold beers, and a day off from any sort of labor. However, for Bostonians, this Labor Day happens to fall on the worst day of the year — Sept. 1.
Sept. 1 is the perfect storm: 250,000 college students returning from summer break clash with 79 percent of the apartments in Boston having a Sept. 1 move-in/out date. The result is total chaos with U-Haul trucks clogging Comm. Ave., dirty mattresses being thrown from third-floor balconies, and a Jordan’s Furniture worth of loot on every street corner from Brighton to the North End. It’s all that free loot that makes the worst day of the year the best day of the year. It’s going to be a merry Allston Christmas.
According to the Urban Dictionary; “Allston ‘Christmas’ refers to the bounty of ‘new’ stuff that one can easily acquire free of cost simply by walking down to the sidewalk and running off with it back into your own apartment.”
If your rich uncle never invites you to the Vineyard for Labor Day Weekend, then you know what a mess the streets of Boston become on Sept. 1. But, within that mess are some pure gems. Every year we hear stories of ceramic horse heads finding new homes, and leg lamps being rescued from the rubble of couch cushions — that’s the unexpected joy of Allston Christmas.
However, even with the joy of the season I would feel remiss without a few lines of advice: If you’re not moving then get the hell out of Boston, if you’re “shopping” then always remember that wood, ceramic and plastic are OK, fabric is stinky and, if you are moving, then remember to put the moving truck in park and never ever drive it on Storrow Drive.
So, this Allston Christmas feel free to pickup a “new” wooden chair or even a wobbly Ikea dresser, but whatever you do please do not take home that plush (formerly white) couch with an orange sticker on it. Your Allston Christmas will definitely not be merry.