Dealing with cheaters

Laurie Puhn

Metro spoke with Laurie Puhn, couples mediator + author of “Fight Less, Love More.”

Our poll showed many men would take back a cheating woman, but women would kick a cheating man out. Why do you think men were more forgiving overall?

Because they are more likely to cheat, as research has shown. They are therefore going to be more understanding if their partner cheats. They know how it can happen. They are familiar with the instinct of desiring the unknown woman down the hall.    

Are men possibly more emotionally dependant than women?

Not necessarily. Women initiate two-thirds of divorces in the United States. They are more willing to try their luck with another guy than men are with new women. More men would rather not go through the whole process of developing another serious relationship and potentially having more children or step-children. Just the idea of all that effort is more exhausting than staying in a less-than-perfect marriage.

So they’re just desperate to hold on to someone, because it’s hard to meet women?

Men are more desperate to hold on to their women because they know that all women take work. The attitude is, why leave one woman for another who will also eventually require tremendous effort?

Often, when someone learns of an infidelity, they ask, “Did you sleep with them?” Why does sex carry such weight?

Men care more about the line between hooking up and having sex because not sleeping with someone (when you have the option) requires restraint. Women don’t care about that line. If a husband spends a night talking and making out with a women (but no sex), that is just as bad as having sex. 


At 91, Marvel creator Stan Lee continues to…

By Piya Sinha-RoyLOS ANGELES (Reuters) - Marvel Entertainment's chief emeritus Stan Lee may be in his ninth decade, but it hasn't stopped him from adding…


Islamic State says beheads U.S. journalist, holds another

Islamic State insurgents released a video purportedly showing the beheading of U.S. journalist James Foley, who had gone missing in Syria nearly two years ago.


VIDEO: NYPD seeks shooter in East New York…

Cops are on the lookout for an unknown shooter who aimed and missed hitting a man on a bicycle, instead nearly striking a nearby officer in East New York.


NYS state forces thrift shops comply with ban…

Nine New York City thrift shops were reprimanded by the state attorney general for selling children's clothes with drawstrings around the neck and waist.


'Pretty Little Liars' recap: Season 5, Episode 11,…

Caleb's not a ghost. Spencer might still be an attempted murderer. And Hanna's going to die next week. In other words, we actually got some…


At 91, Marvel creator Stan Lee continues to…

Marvel Entertainment's Stan Lee is adding outposts to his creative empire to interest a new generation of children in super heroes of all shapes and sizes.


Mira Sorvino explores immortality on 'Intruders'

Mira Sorvino's new show "Intruders" centers around a secret society that achieves immortality by taking over the bodies of other people.


5 things you need to know about new…

"Doctor Who" returns Saturday with a new star, Peter Capaldi. Here's some things to know about him (mainly his turn as sweary spin doctor Malcolm Tucker).


Shane Greene travels unlikely road to Yankees stardom

Shane Greene was throwing a bullpen session on a quiet field at Daytona Beach Community College one day when the ball started moving.


2014 Fantasy Football: Rankings, list of top NFL…

2014 Fantasy Football: Rankings, list of top NFL tight ends (TE)


MLB Power Rankings: Angels supplant A's, Nationals climb

MLB Power Rankings: Angels supplant A's, Nationals climb


David Wilson returns to triple jump, sets sights…

Giants fans know David Wilson can jump. They are just more used to seeing him go for backflips, not distance.


11 timeless gifts for registries or just because

Gifts to prove you're a style maven once and for all.


How everyday moments can inspire kids' creativity

"The Artist's Way for Parents" author Julia Cameron gives advice on how parents and children can be creative together.


How to stay safe online

Stop worrying about keeping your online passwords safe, and start worrying about keeping your username a secret. Actually, worry about both. According to Shaun Murphy…


OpenTable now lets you pay your bill via…

The restaurant app OpenTable added the ability to pay your bill (and tip) with your phone, thus cutting back on a few dining annoyances.