Metropolitik: DC gossip gone wild

Jon Huntsman gets a hug from his wife Mary Kaye after announcing the suspension of his campaign.

Welcome to Metropolitik, a new Metro feature designed to bring you, our busy reader, the most up-to-date, off-the-wall election coverage that no money can buy. However, please take note: In our march toward truth and accuracy in reporting, we reserve the right to smear, besmirch, mock, uplift and ultimately destroy any public personality in the U.S. political sphere who has the misfortune of misspeaking, misstepping or any of several other pratfalls that begin with “mis.” For complaints, suggestions and offers of male sexual enhancement, please e-mail us at brayden.simms@metro.us.

And then there were five.

Former ambassador to China and Mitt Romney understudy Jon Huntsman has withdrawn his bid for the 2012 Republican presidential nomination, teaching us that it takes more than a nice face and Chinese as a second language to impress the American right.

Fresh off the campaign trail where he regularly languished in the bottom 2 percent in national polls, Huntsman is now perfecting his role as dutiful understudy, borrowing a move from the Mitt flip-flop playbook and promptly reversing course on his Mormon brother. Having just a week ago denounced Romney as  “completely unelectable”, hunter Jon has now turned around and endorsed him, describing Romney as the candidate “best equipped to defeat Barack Obama.”

Curious. Does Huntsman mean “defeat” as in “on the field of battle?” How else to explain how he so positively describes the electoral prospects of someone he finds totally unequipped for victory?

No matter, it’s all water under the bridge now, as the Huntsman campaign has backtracked on months of negativity, rewriting attack rhetoric and removing the scathing anti-Romney Web videos it had put together. (“When there’s a question about whether you’re running for the White House or running for the Waffle House, then you’ve got a big problem with the American people,” Huntsman had said of Romney in late 2011.)

Romney is now probably hoping the Huntsman bump is somewhat more effective for him than it was for Huntsman.

Get Fed

Because sometimes you’ve only got time to skim the headlines:
   
“Snooki endorses Trump for president” huffingtonpost.com
   
“Santorum Accuses    Rival’s Group Of ‘Smear Campaign’” huffingtonpost.com
   
“Fox News: ‘You Can Pee on Me All You Want, Don’t Shoot Me’” politicususa.com
  
“Perry on Huntsman dropout: I’ll miss the Jon girls” POLITICO.com
   
“Jon Huntsman’s Campaign Killed By Terminal Dullness”  The Daily Beast
   
“Scott Brown And Elizabeth Warren To Talk Third-Party Ad Detente” tpm.com
   
“White House blasts Internet piracy bills” CNN.com

He said, we said

“If Mitt Romney really believes ‘corporations are people, my friend’, then Mitt Romney is
a serial killer.”
-Attack ad by Citizens for a better tomorrow tomorrow, the super pac formerly controlled by Stephen Colbert.

The satirist, who has used his popular TV?show to plumb the depths of campaign finance, handed his money-baby over to fellow host Jon Stewart in order to take his message to South Carolina after news he had outpolled Jon Huntsman.

Follow Brayden Simms on Twitter @metropolitik

Metro does not endorse the opinions of the author, or any opinions expressed on its pages.



News
Entertainment
Sports
Lifestyle
Local

Mayor pledges lower greenhouse gas emissions from New…

Just hours before the start of the People’s Climate March on Sunday, and two days ahead of the United Nations Climate Summit, Mayor Bill de…

National

The best places to see the Northern Lights…

A large solar storm hit the Earth's atmosphere and will tonight illuminate the skies with aurora borealis -- also known as the Northern Lights.

Local

Police officer killed Sunday morning Bronx crash, 8…

One NYPD police officer was killed and eight other officers were injured early Sunday morning when the van they were traveling in crashed  in the…

National

Pennsylvania police shooter manhunt near home of suspect's…

A police manhunt intensified on Friday for the gunman who killed an officer and wounded another in an ambush at a Pennsylvania police barracks a week ago.

Television

'How to Get Away with' mischaracterizing Shondra Rhimes

Shonda Rhimes read Alessandra Stanley's New York Times piece about her being "an angry black woman" and "a romance writer" and it did not sit well with her.

Gossip

New nude celebrity selfies leak … and Clay…

A new batch of nude selfies of Rihanna, Kim Kardashian, Vanessa Hudgens, Lake Bell and Avril Lavigne hit the web and Clay Aiken has something to say!

Television

James Spader's route to villainy on "The Blacklist"

In honor of the second season premiere of "The Blacklist" tonight, where James Spader plays good guy/bad guy Raymond “Red” Reddington, it’s a good time to look back at Spader’s…

Television

True Detective

NFL

Jay Cutler takes Marc Trestman's coaching to heart

While Jay Cutler turned to an autobiography on the man who would be his head coach, Trestman had personal experience with the player.

NFL

Jets vs. Bears: 3 things to watch

Jets fans likely chalked up Monday's matchup with the Bears as a loss when the NFL schedule came out. But given their team's play so…

NFL

Rashad Jennings carries Giants in first win this…

Rashad Jennings, who came to New York from Oakland last year, by way of Jacksonville, was highly coveted this offseason by general manager Jerry Reese.

NFL

3 things we learned as Giants pick up…

The Giants picked up their first win of the season over the Texans.

Career

Here's how to make the most of visit…

You’re primped, you’re looking polished, you’re prepared with a stack of resumes. Job fair hunters, unite! There are a few things to keep in mind…

Education

Learn how to study effectively and stop cramming…

Picture this: It’s midterm week, and college students everywhere are trying to frantically memorize all of the math formulas, political theories and historical facts that…

Parenting

How motherhood inspired Bethenny Frankel's new book

Bethenny Frankel's new children's book is about how her daughter and dog didn't always get alone.

Parenting

A sneaky way to serve kids fruits and…

"My First Juices and Smoothies" gives smoothie recipes for kids.