Priveco helps federal workers relieve stress with free dildos

Steps used by members of Congress to enter the U.S. House of Representatives are empty at the U.S. Capitol in Washington October 7. Credit: Reuters
Steps used by members of Congress and their staffs to enter the U.S. House of Representatives stand empty in Washington, D.C. on Oct 7.
Credit: Reuters

The Obamacare feud has paralyzed the world’s most powerful nation, and millions are suffering. What better time to indulge yourself, says Tom Nardone, boss of Priveco – the world’s most private company – who has been supplying federal employees with free dildos.

Metro: How did you come up with this idea?

Nardone: We were talking on a Friday afternoon and the shutdown was in the news. Everyone’s mad with the congressmen who can’t move and we thought to send them erection pills – but then we thought people are suffering and can’t go anywhere because they don’t know when the shutdown will end, so this is perfect.

What sort of reactions are you getting?

We’re just giving them away through our website and trusting that people are government employees – otherwise karma will get them. We got through 200 in four hours yesterday so word is spreading.

Are you hoping the government stays shut so you can surf this wave?

I’m not smart enough to understand the implications so I’m as nervous as everybody else. Also it’s a bit of a strain distributing 200 vibrators a day. But we have plenty in stock – we can stay in vibrators longer than the government can stay shut down.

Who else deserves a vibrator?

We have been talking about victims of natural disasters but I guess it depends how bad it is. Any time someone is inconvenienced, we are ready to step in.



News
Entertainment
Sports
Lifestyle
Breaking: News

Russia criticizes EU sanctions, raps U.S. over Ukraine…

By Vladimir SoldatkinMOSCOW (Reuters) - Russia reacted angrily on Saturday to additional sanctions imposed by the European Union over Moscow's role in the Ukraine crisis,…

National

Mutant worms stay sober, even on alcohol

U.S. researchers have developed "mutant worms" that do not get drunk by alcohol, a breakthrough that could lead to new treatment for people trying to quit drinking

Local

K-9 nose helps capture $150K in cocaine at…

A furry, four-legged security agent helped authorities stop an illegal cocaine shipment from sneaking past JFK customs.

National

Minnesota man asked to leave Southwest flight after…

A man and his two sons were asked to leave a Southwest Airlines flight after the man sent a tweet complaining about being treated rudely by a gate agent.

Movies

Review: Brett Ratner's big 'Hercules' movie is small…

The latest "Hercules," starring Dwayne Johnson as the half-god beefcake of Greek myth, strips its hero and tale of most of its fantastical elements.

Arts

Scientists recreate world's smallest Monet copy

Scientists have reproduced a famous Impressionist painting using nano-printing, to create what has been described as the world's smallest work of art. Reworked at the…

Television

Jerry Seinfeld is ambidextrous, and other Reddit AMA…

See some of the weirder highlights of Jerry Seinfeld's recent Reddit AMA.

Going Out

Grab a pedestrian and start dancing at What…

As a New Yorker, I’ve mastered the art of focusing my gaze straight ahead. Though it occasionally piques my interest, the absurdities that play out…

U.S. Soccer

Orlando City takes shot at NYCFC over Frank…

Orlando City reminded the world how big a signing Brazilian star Kaka earlier this month with a photo of Kaka mobbed by fans juxtaposed against Lampard.

NBA

Jeremy Lin says 'Linsanity' is over as he…

Jeremy Lin lit up the NBA two years ago with his play for the Knicks but he has no desire to recreate "Linsanity" in his new career with the Lakers.

NFL

2014 NFL Fantasy Football Top 100 overall player…

2014 NFL Fantasy Football Top 100 overall player rankings

U.S. Soccer

NYCFC announce signing of Frank Lampard

The tease of a big signing Thursday by new MLS side NYCFC ended up being one rumored for weeks. England midfielder Frank Lampard agreed to…

Tech

Forget Wi-Fi: Li-Fi could be the future

Li-Fi technology – developed by Mexican company Sisoft – is wireless internet connectivity using specialized LED light.

Tech

Weather app Climendo might be the most accurate…

The wait for a truly accurate weather forecast could finally be over thanks to a nifty new app called Climendo.

Tech

Napkin Table puts focus off the phone and…

Michael Jan, a design student at Tunghai University in Taiwan, has invented a serviette-picnic blanket hybrid called the Napkin Table.

Style

Essie's new Color Boutique

Essie launches high-tech kiosks at major airports and malls across the country.