March is officially Jimmer time

It’s March, the weather is slowly warming up and I saw two rabbits and “Rabbit Hole” this week. Spring cleaning starts at the end of the month but cleaning out the mailbag starts right now.

The big question on everyone’s mind this week, sports fans or not, is who should host next year’s Oscars after the debacle of James Franco and Anne Hathaway?
Sure, watching Franco was as painful as amputating my own arm, but how can anyone not like Hathaway? Guess they haven’t seen “Havoc.” Our pick for host, though, is Ron Artest. The Lakers motor-mouth make it a must-watch. He’s articulate, hysterical and has a terrific sense of humor. Remember how he thanked his psychiatrist after winning the title? Plus, the bleep button would get a workout.

» Any Final Four picks?

Think cheerleaders. Specifically, BYU and Louisville. (BYU’s POY candidate Jimmer Fredette is dating a Cougar cheerleader; a Louisville male cheerleader nearly lost a pivotal game Sunday against Pittsburgh when he tossed the ball in the air with less than a second left and the Cardinals were given a technical foul.)

At any rate, I’ll take those two teams in the Final Four. Ohio State will make it, too, meaning more clips of Jared Sullinger, singing Miley Cyrus. Lastly, I’ll take a chance on Duke, because you know the NCAA tournament committee will hook the Devils up with a favorable region.

» Will any athlete arrest this year top Miguel Cabrera’s?

Probably too early to say, but he’s got a Michael Phelps-sized lead for stepping out of his vehicle with a bottle of James Buchanan scotch in hand, taking a swig and then cursing out a police officer. His antics led to an officer to deliver three to four “knee spikes” into Cabrera’s left thigh. Instant classic.

»  Thoughts on Wild Thing Ricky Vaughn, aka Charlie Sheen?

This line from “Major League,” uttered by Bob Uecker, is looking more and more prophetic by the day: “Vaughn, a juvenile delinquent in the offseason, making his major league debut!”

» Hines Ward of the Pittsburgh Steelers is going on “Dancing with the Stars.” Lame, right? 

Incredibly. He’s going to completely tarnish his tough-guy image. Plus, there’s no way he can outshine the last NFL receiver in the field, Chad Ochocinco, who had a “fling” with dancing partner Cheryl Burke.

–Jason Raj McIntyre covers athletes away from the field of play and runs the blog TheBigLead.com

Metro does not endorse the opinions of the author, or any opinions expressed on its pages. Opposing viewpoints are welcome. Send submissions to letters@metro.us.


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