Popcorn, peanuts and free massages

c1b5ef6cea1bf1ebd98506cafc449e58

It can be difficult to get fans to the ballpark in September if their team is out of it. Football has started, there are leaves to rake and did I mention the start of football? That’s why teams resort to silly gimmicks to attract fans.

The Kansas City Royals, who haven’t been relevant for two decades, are going to try to set a Guinness World Record for the “Most People Being Massaged” on Sept. 17. If you purchase a ticket in a certain section ($25), you’ll get a Yoga Mat and receive a massage.

Will this event also set a record for the most happy ending requests? I can’t wait until someone claims they received too hard of a massage and brings a frivolous lawsuit.

A team actually in a pennant race is also going the way of the gimmick: the Giants. The defending World Series champs are having “Star Wars Day” on Sept. 4 at AT&T park. The ticket package includes a seat in the “Star Wars” section, access to a pregame costume party and a “limited edition Star Wars/Giants” trinket.

If 1,000 people show up and 300 are women, how many will be dressed as Princess Leia? You know the outfit I’m talking about (hint: think Jabba the Hutt). I expect no less than 227 dressed as Boba Fett, and the lazy fans will show up as Han Solo or Luke Skywalker. There will be at least one ejection because a fight breaks out over which was better: “Star Wars” or “The Empire Strikes Back.”

Ron Artest’s heart will go on … and on

Two years ago, Ron Artest went to a Britney Spears concert, and jokes were made; recently, he went to a Celine Dion concert, and then scurried backstage to take photos with her. It’s still early, but the guess here is in 2013 he attends a Bonnie Raitt concert and in 2015 he’ll be spotted at a Sarah McLaughlin performance.

Serena the reality bomb

I find it mildly stunning that non-entity no-talents like Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashian have (or had) wildly popular reality shows, yet Serena Williams — one of the greatest tennis players ever — is failing to have someone pick up her show. Perhaps it was the content? Williams has been pitching a reality series based on “caring for and decorating nails.” Apparently, she’s big into nail care. Williams is one of the five best female tennis players ever, and for the first time since 2006, she is about to go the entire year without winning a major. Perhaps she should revert her attention from nails to tennis.

– Jason Raj McIntyre covers athletes off the field and runs the popular blog, The Big Lead.

Metro does not endorse the opinions of the author, or any opinions expressed on its pages.


News
Entertainment
Sports
Lifestyle
Local

Two young children killed in deadly Queens fire

Two 4-year-old children died after a blaze at their Far Rockaway home on Saturday night. The Queens fire injured three others, including a third sibling.

National

Florida man charged with murdering son to play…

A Florida man annoyed that his 16-month-old crying son was preventing him from playing video games suffocated the toddler, police said on Friday.

International

Powerful 7.2 magnitude earthquake rattles Mexico

A powerful earthquake struck Mexico Friday, shaking buildings and sending people running into the street, although there were no reports of major damage.

News

OMG! Exercise can make skin (and butt) look…

A moderate exercise regime can turn back time and actually reverse the skin's aging process, according to new research. The study showed that a minimum…

Entertainment

Whoopi Goldberg makes her debut as marijuana columnist

"It helps my head stop hurting, and with glaucoma your eyes ache, and she takes the ache out. It's wonderful," she said.

The Word

Kate Middleton made fun of Prince William's bald…

Kate Middleton and Prince William are in Sydney, Australia, right now, and it sounds like that brash Aussie sense of humor might be rubbing off.

The Word

Is Tom Cruise dating Laura Prepon?

"Mission: Impossible" star Cruise is said to be dating Laura Prepon, star of "Orange is the New Black."

Television

'Scandal' recap: Season 3, Episode 18, 'The Price…

Sally is Jesus, Olivia caused global warming, and Mellie's still drunk. Let's recap the Scandal finale. A church full of Washington insiders is about to…

NBA

Deron Williams leads Nets over Raptors in Game…

The Nets traveled to a raucous Air Canada Centre but came out with an important Game 1 victory over the Raptors.

NBA

Carmelo Anthony agonizing over Knicks future as season…

There’s still the cloud hanging over the franchise’s head as to the pending free-agent status of All-Star forward Carmelo Anthony.

NFL

Jets host players with eye toward NFL Draft

The Jets hosted a number of NFL Draft hopefuls for workouts on Thursday, with an eye toward some under-the-radar players.

NFL

Chris Johnson: I wanted to go to 'a…

Now that Chris Johnson is a Jet, the team has to figure out if one of the most explosive players in the NFL over the last half decade has anything…

Parenting

How to parent without gender stereotypes in a…

Christia Spears Brown, Phd. author of "Parenting beyond Pink & Blue" gives advice on raising kids free of gender stereotypes.

Tech

VIDEO: 'Vein-scanning' may become the future of paying

Designed to make transactions quicker and easier, the technology works by scanning the unique vein patterns in each person's palm.

Tech

#FollowFriday: 10 of the smartest Twitter accounts

Spending lots of time on Twitter? You might as well learn something. Here are some of the smartest accounts to follow.

Style

Light-up nail art syncs with phone

This Japanese technology syncs light-up nail art with your phone.