Playing the Field: The NFL’s new rules

It's time for make the NFL safer. Let's eliminate all hitting, Roger Goodell.
It’s time for make the NFL safer. Let’s eliminate all hitting, Roger Goodell.

Wow, it’s been a busy week for Playing the Field. With all the A-Rod and PED nonsense, coupled with the continued fallout from the Riley Cooper racial incident in Philadelphia and the ongoing saga that is Johnny Manziel.

Can we get back to playing sports? Please!

No, OK. Well, we’re going to keep it light this week.

First item is in regard to an old story. Back in the spring, the NFL adopted a new rule which prohibits running backs from initiating contact with the crown of their helmets. It’s another in a long line of edicts from commissioner dictator Roger Goodell that seeks to enforce player safety.

Vikings safety Harrison Smith, a defensive player that this new rule is intended to protect, wrote the following on Twitter: “soon everyone will get a trophy for participation.”

Here are some other rules we predict Goodell will look at proposing:

1. No more tackling. Really, if you want to enforce safety and stop injuries entirely than just cut to the chase and cut out all that unnecessary contact. A good game of rough touch surely wouldn’t plummet the NFL’s ratings into oblivion … would it?

2. No more kickoffs. Seriously, the commish has actually talked about adopting this one. In reality, kickoffs are the most dangerous part of football, with a gang of padded warriors racing at warp speeds to fling themselves at a lone target. Of course, it also plays a pivotal role in the game’s outcome: field position. Go figure.

3. No more middle ground. Let’s just remove half the playbook, like slants and crossing patterns. Keep the passing game sideline vertical and outlaw any plays that involve going over the middle of the field, since that’s where the most vicious hits occur — and the most collarbones break. Arena football, what!?

Feel free to send your own rule amendments to our attention: sports@metro.us. And be sure to follow us on Twitter: @mike_greger.

And now the best video you’ll see all week. Twerking with surfing superstar Anastasia Ashley, courtesy of former Metro contributor, The Big Lead.


News
Entertainment
Sports
Lifestyle
International

Canadian charged in 'Heartbleed' attack on tax agency

OTTAWA (Reuters) - Canadian police have arrested a 19-year-old man and charged him in connection with exploiting the "Heartbleed" bug to steal taxpayer data from…

National

Every dog has his day in court, in…

(Reuters) - Call him juror K-9.A computer glitch is likely to blame for a summons that called a German Shepherd to report for jury duty,…

Local

Local politicians pressure DOJ to investigate Ramarley Graham…

On what would have been his 21st birthday, Ramarley Graham's mother joined elected leaders to ask the U.S. Department of Justice investigate his death.

Local

Muslim leaders welcome NYPD surveillance changes with degree…

Leaders and advocates praise the NYPD's move to shut down a unit tied to its Muslim surveillance program but say there's more left to do.

Television

Jim Rash talks 'The Writer's Room' and amazing…

For Jim Rash, as the fifth season of "Community" comes to a close, the second season of "The Writer's Room" begins.

Going Out

Tasty chicken and waffles in NYC

Try some soul food goodness around the city.

Television

'Dexter' star Jennifer Carpenter moves into producing role

The actress who played the title character's sister in "Dexter" is teaming up with producer George Stelzner to adapt Erika Hayasaki's book "The Death Class:…

The Word

Wahlburgers announce North America domination

Tuesday was a huge day for Donnie Wahlberg.

NFL

2014 NFL Mock Draft: Updated, new April version

2014 NFL Mock Draft: Updated, new April version

NHL

Flyers, Rangers meet in playoffs for 11th time

The Flyers and Rangers will start a new chapter in a historic rivalry.

MLB

Masahiro Tanaka dominates Cubs over eight shutout innings

Masahiro Tanaka certainly had no-hit caliber stuff Wednesday as he allowed just two bunt singles.

MLB

MLB Power Rankings: A's are baseball's best, Brewers…

MLB Power Rankings: A's are baseball's best, Brewers and Braves right behind

Wellbeing

Unexplained infertility may be caused by lack of…

Researchers have identified a protein on the egg's surface that interacts with another protein on the surface of sperm, allowing the two cells to join.

Tech

5 surprising facts about Google Glass

Your sex life could get more interesting.

Wellbeing

Cognitive skills begin to drop at age 24

But the news isn't all that bad.

Career

How to get a job at a startup:…

We talked to Tarek Pertew, one of the co-founders behind Uncubed, about how to get your dream job at a startup.