Philadelphia

Was Justin Bieber’s alleged bathroom tryst statutory rape?

Tell us where she touched you, Justin.

Assume if you will that the Justin Bieber pregnancy story is legitimate and not the work of an delusional fan. If that’s the case, we still have many questions about the whole thing. They are below!

–Was it statutory rape? At the time of the alleged tryst, Bieber’s October 25, 2010 concert at Los Angeles’ Staples Center, the pop star’s accuser, Californian Mariah Yeater, was 19. Bieber was 16. Does that make the (possibly imaginary) rendezvous statutory rape? In fact, yes! The age of consent in California is 18, and the state’s laws make no allowances for the couple’s small age difference, nor for the fact that, as Yeater alleges, Bieber initiated the hookup. Yeater is in a strange situation: If she wins her paternity suit, she will have gotten herself in legal trouble.

–Are Bieber’s fans mad at Yeater, to the extent that they’re attacking her personally?
What do you think? Of course they are. The true Beliebers are furious at Yeater for besmirching the squeaky-clean image of their teen idol, and they’ve taken to the Internet to register their displeasure. Gawker’s Adrian Chen has the best roundup, which includes this lovely piece of Twitter poetry: “Roses are red, violets are blue mariah yeater we are gunna kill you.”

–Wait, what does Mariah Yeater look like?
Like this.

–Can you ever believe any teen pop star who says they’re a virgin? No, not ever. Regular famous people can pretty much sleep with any civilian they choose. You think a teenage celebrity is going to have enough scruples to not do that? Grow up.

–What does Selena Gomez think?
We don’t have an answer for this one yet.


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