‘New Girl’ recap: Season 3, Episode 4, ‘The Captain’

 

Zooey Deschanel new girl captain
‘The Captain’ is the sex move that Shall Not Be Named.

So far this season, Nick and Jess are officially in a relationship, Schmidt has broken the hearts of CeCe and Elizabeth (not to mention his own) and Winston has become lonelier than ever. So as we start Episode Four, ‘The Captain,’ it stands to reason that the natural course of action is for Schmidt to go after Nick and Jess’s relationship and for Winston to get even more deeply involved with his cat, Ferguson.

Winston is, once again, on his own in this one — a dynamic that is getting old. The Winston Problem is the most notable and talked about issue that New Girl faces and, third season in, it’s still not solved. It’s clear the writers decided to embrace Winston’s “Cheese Stands Alone” status in the loft (and thus, the show), but I’m not sure that was the best route to take. Episode after episode, we find the same dynamic — everyone is involved in the larger plot but Winston. That being said, Lamorne Morris has done a good job so far, and his storyline this week (trying to get his cat laid) made for a number of easy but satisfying laughs. (“Guys, come on, our cats were just about to have sex,” being one of his best of the night.)

But even with The Winston Problem, “The Captain” is a stellar episode. It has all the things you need to swoon and laugh. And since swooning and laughing is all I want to do for the rest of my life, I’d call this a job well done.

Schmidt tries to break Nick and Jess up by playing on Nick’s discomfort with feelings and Jess’s naivete about sex. It works at first — Nick can’t get it up and Jess thinks the only way to turn him on is by performing a so-horrifying-we-don’t-know-what-it-is sex move called The Captain. But his dabbling only proves to bring them closer together as they realize what he is trying to do. It all ends in Nick beginning to indulge his feelings — and Jess learning to shut up for once.

Last season, Schmidt seemed to be growing into a mature and complicated person but this season, at least temporarily, he’s back to being a douchebag. While this does make him a bit harder to root for, it’s also a situation rife with Schmidt-isms:

“You know, my diploma says that I majored in Communications, but my heart says I majored in Nicholas Studies.”

“For a man whose midsection is basically mush, Nick has had a lot of sex. He’s pushed that mush all over town.”

“If someone were to blow on my nipples, I would positively scream.”

If Schmidt continues being Schmidt, there’s not much behavior we won’t accept from him.

As for Nick and Jess: Were they hotter last season when we all were rooting for them to just do it already? Absolutely. But are they still pretty great now? Yeah. Things have cooled down but, c’mon, they were never going to be able to maintain the sheer, unadulterated, so-hot-I-watched-it-on-repeat-at-least-17-times chemistry of their first stolen kiss in the hallway.

Instead, what we have is a storyline where Nick and Jess are in a healthy, sweet, adorable relationship that appears to make each of them a better person. And the writers do a good job of making it bizarre as hell, which is crucial to “New Girl” in general, and Nick and Jess in particular. Whereas most couples might go out to dinner and a movie, Jess tries to spice things up by reading an Indian Restaurant Menu in whispered tones, painting her face blue like Papa Smurf, and punching Nick in the face.

This is a quirky, crazy weird, super lovable couple and… I’m into it.

Bigs ups go to Jake Johnson for managing to make Nick’s emotional maturing not only un-cheesy but laugh-out-loud funny. (“I really like the instrument of the cello.”) Also, when he says things like, “I really like you, Jess,” I basically melt into a puddle on the goddamn floor. So bravo, “New Girl.” My husband will never live up to Nick Miller. Are you happy now?

What do you guys think? Am I the only one still bothered by The Winston Problem?

Grade: A- (under the condition that in future episodes they stop treating Winston like he’s a ghost that only animals can see)

Taylor Jenkins Reid is an author and essayist living in Los Angeles. Her first book, Forever, Interrupted, came out this summer. Follow her on Twitter @tjenkinsreid


News
Entertainment
Sports
Lifestyle
Local

Judge holds Amber Hellesten for trial on murder…

Amber Hellesten turns 16 next Wednesday, April 30. It could be her first of many birthdays behind bars.

National

University of New Mexico running back arrested for…

By Joseph J. KolbALBUQUERQUE, New Mexico (Reuters) - A University of New Mexico football player has been arrested on suspicion of raping and kidnapping a…

National

Teen who stowed away on flight to Hawaii…

By Alex Dobuzinskis(Reuters) - A teenage boy who stowed away on a flight from California to Hawaii in the frozen, oxygen-deprived wheel well of a…

Money

Investing is easier than you think

Easy investing: Everything you need to know about investing, you already do.

Television

John Turturro tags in for Robert De Niro…

The cast of the courtroom drama miniseries has undergone yet another shift. Following Robert De Niro's exit, the cable network has brought in John Turturro…

Television

TV watch list, Tuesday, April 22: 'Glee,' 'Agents…

'Glee' Rachel makes her Broadway debut in "Funny Girl." Remember when she was just a high school drama nerd? FOX, 8PM 'Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.'…

The Word

Lindsay Lohan's big, drunk interview

Lindsay Lohan appears to be completely off the wagon now, if Kode magazine's chronicle of her trip to Coachella is any indication. According to the…

The Word

What we learned from the premiere of 'True…

Does watching someone's marriage implode make for great TV? The show runners at "True Tori" think Tori Spelling's heartbreak is hot stuff indeed.

NHL

Lundqvist, Rangers take control as Flyers falter in…

Rangers goalie Henrik Lundqvist turned away 31 Flyers shots to give the Blueshirts the series edge with a 4-1 victory Tuesday nigh

MLB

MLB Power Rankings: Brewers best in baseball, Dodgers,…

MLB Power Rankings: Brewers best in baseball, Dodgers, Cardinals, Yankees surge. The A's, Braves, Rangers, Giants and Rockies are also in the top 10.

MLB

Metro one-on-one: Q&A with Phillies centerfielder Ben Revere

Charlie Manuel used to say that the Phillies go as Jimmy Rollins goes. Well, Ryne Sandberg might have a new Phillies catalyst, Ben Revere, in his midst.

NBA

Breaking down the Sixers top draft options

With the NBA Playoffs now in full force, there’s only one thing on the mind of Sixers fans at the moment -- the 2014 NBA Draft Lottery.

Wellbeing

How to burn off all that Easter candy

Sorry to be a buzzkill, but you can't eat chocolate eggs and Jelly Bellys forever.

Food

Powdered alcohol: 5 things to know about 'Palcohol'

What's the deal with powdered alcohol? Here's what you need to know about Palcohol.

Travel

Travel hacks: 6 tips on living out of…

Lynne Martin shares her travel hacks on living out of just two suitcases.

Wellbeing

Tough Mudder pro gives tips on conquering a…

Learn hacks from head designer Nolan Kombol.