Dinosaur erotica author discusses writing, fantasy and Miley Cyrus
The two friends met at Texas A&M University, where they are both students, and found that writing erotica was not just fun but also profitable. They decided to write lurid tales of ancient, scaly creatures having their way with women (under pen names, of course) and saw their novel idea take off.
Branwen spoke with Metro about her strange success and even offered up a bonus: an amazing, Metro-exclusive, dinosaur sex scene with everyone’s favorite pop star, Miley Cyrus.
How did you get into dinosaur erotica? Is it just for the money?I first got into dinosaur erotica because I was burned out on doing dragon, were-creature and the other kinds of erotica that I was doing at the time. I so burned out on writing it that I thought about quitting. However, as I was going for a walk one day, I thought about “Jurassic Park.” My mind immediately went to my work and I started picturing huge dinosaurs having sex with young women. I died laughing. I thought that writing a dinosaur erotica would be fun and would possibly reignite my passion for writing. So I wrote a dino word porn. The story was fun to write and it rekindled my excitement for writing.
Do I write it just for the money? No. Of course, money is part of the reason I write. Since I am a writer, writing is my job and therefore [money is] part of the reason I write. However, I write dinosaur and fantasy creature erotica becasue it’s unique, funny, fun, and it is fresh enough to give me new ideas each time I sit down at the keyboard.
Where do you draw literary inspiration for your prose?
I get a lot of my basic writing structure from, believe it or not, Isaac Asimov. I am very fond of his simple style that is very clear and makes it easy for readers to connect to him. When it comes to my sex scenes though, I draw a lot of inspiration from R.A. Salvatore. His combat scenes are what taught me how to write action oriented scenes. Piers Anthony and Robert Heinlein are also big inspirations for my work for various reasons.
How did you get your books noticed?
I think they got noticed at the level they have been noticed because someone made fun of my art covers and story titles on their blog. Other people made fun of my work on their own blogs. Jezebel saw the stories and did a piece on it, as did the Daily Mail. Then my book titles spread like wildfire. Now they are all over the place.
How do you two divide your work?
Christie and I both write together. Basically I write until I get tired, and then Christie takes over. Together we are able to do about 5,000 to 9,000 words per day on working days.
Who are your readers?
If you want a breakdown of our fans it’s about 60 percent men and 40 percent women. Most of our readers seem to be between the ages of 24 to 60, with most of our readers being in the 30 to 40 age range.
Do they seriously fantasize about dinosaurs or is there some sort of irony on their part, too?
I think they do seriously fantasize about dinosaurs, dragons, minotaurs, centaurs or whatever the story is about. However, some readers buy the stories just because they think they are funny or crazy. It doesn’t matter to Christie or me why our readers buy them, just as long as they derive some kind of enjoyment out of them.
Do your friends know you write this stuff?
Yes, and they all think it is either cool or hilarious.
Who illustrates your covers?
A good friend illlustrates our covers.
Do you think you’ll get sick of dinosaurs at some point?
Christie and I have actually started talking about when we are going to retire and go into things that are not porn related. However, we plan to write monster erotica for the next couple of years. We are still having fun with it. I, personally, am going to keep writing it until it’s not fun anymore. When a creative medium stops being fun, that is when you should move on, or at least that was what I was told.
Finally, here’s a wild card: Can you give us a sample on how you’d write up a sex scene between Miley Cyrus and a velociraptor?
There she stood, golden rays gleaming off her short golden hair. Her skin milky and curves gentle and sumptuous. Standing against the backdrop of a forest, leaning agaisnt a tall, burly brown oak, one might mistake her for a Goddess.
The leaves rustled as a green scaled biped leapt through the treeline. Its rounded nose snorted as its dark brown eyes focused on the nude young woman leaning against the tree. Lust burned in the scaly loins of the velociraptor. It knew that scent, thick, heavy, clawing at the dinosaur’s nostrils. His senses became fuzzy. He knew that scent as every dinosaur did. It was lust, and it flowed thickly from the young woman before him.
The dinosar’s large feet dug into the earth as he walked toward Miley. Powerful legs flexing with each powerful stride. The young woman showcased her womanly attributes to the dinosaur before she leaned out against the tree, exposing her bare rear.
The dinosaur stopped before her rounded, peach butt. The creature leaned down to sniff her womanhood. The beast instantly recoiled as a foul, noxious stench attacked its nostrils.
Holding its breath, the raptor reached out for her with his small arms, but couldn’t touch her. Miley’s arms supernaturally extended, until her rump met with the dinosaurs hot, throbbing, prolific phallus. With a wet and wanton thrust, the bipedal lizard plowed into the young woman.
The dinosaur released a dull, throaty mewling sound as it pumped itself into the milky white Goddess beneath him. It heard the moans of its mate, which drove it onward. The dinosaur closed its eyes and relaxed into sexual bliss.
Miley’s eyes flashed red and a forked tongue slithered from her lips. She smiled, revealing sharp, jagged, yellowing teeth. She knew she had successfully lured another victim to his doom. Suddenly her body stiffened and she began jerking uncontrollably. The dinosuar above her stiffened as well as she began to rock beneath him, in what seemed to be a random tempo.
Miley’s body jiggled and the world grew red around them. Miley muttered the words to her Twerking spell and, from seemingly thin air, withdrew a dagger in the shape of someone holding up a number one.
The dinosuar’s eyes went wide. It tried to pull away from her. Even though Miley’s womanhood was massive, it contained an evil, magical force that held the dinosaur’s malehood firmly inside.
Miley reached back and pushed the dagger into the dinosaur’s throat. It gurgled in agony as its lifeblood spilled from it. Green tentacles sprouted from Miley’s womanhood and back and wrapped around the defenseless creature. They penetrated the creature’s orifaces and began to crackle with black and purple electricity.
The dinosaur shivered as he felt his soul being pulled from his body. The tentacles writhed and thrust inside him as the living warmth it always knew fled its body.
After several agonizing minutes, the deed was done. The tentacles unwound and retracted back into their respective places. The ceremonial dagger Miley had drawn disappeared into a velvet black smoke.
Miley pulled away from the dinosaur and walked two steps. Behind her, the dinosaur fell lifeless to the ground. The young demoness smiled, and licked her lips with her forked tongue. Dinosaur souls were always the tastiest. The young woman put on a pair of large, oval, thick shades and ran her fingers through her spiky hair.
She began to walk toward the horizon. If she hurried, she could be on time for her next concert.