The Word: Lindsay Lohan defends herself to Piers Morgan

LOS ANGELES, CA - OCTOBER 12:  Actress Lindsay Lohan attends the Premiere Of THQ's 'Saints Row: The Third' on October 12, 2011 in Los Angeles, California.  (Photo by Valerie Macon/Getty Images)
LOS ANGELES, CA – OCTOBER 12: Actress Lindsay Lohan attends the Premiere Of THQ’s ‘Saints Row: The Third’ on October 12, 2011 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Valerie Macon/Getty Images)

Lohan’s back on the defense
I’ve only written The Word a few times and I’m already sick of Lindsay Lohan. But, dear readers, it is my job to inform of the latest in the troubled starlet’s life, and have I got news for you! I mean, truthfully, nothing would really shock me these days, aside from hearing that she’s dead (and even that wouldn’t shock me too much) but she did take part in a revealing interview with Piers Morgan shortly before entering her 90-day rehab stay at the Betty Ford Center. Some of our favorite quotes:

“Everybody thinks I’ve done [cocaine] so many times. But I’ve only done it four or five times in my life.”
Translation: Ecstasy, on the other hand…

“I’ve never been a huge drinker. I’ve never woken up in the morning and had a drink.”
Translation: I sleep well into the afternoon, and then take a shot upon getting up.

“I could write a book on rehab. Constantly sending me to rehab is pointless.”
Translation: Will somebody please give me a book deal? I really need money.

“I’ve never been a junkie and never will be. I just like going out late to clubs.”
Translation: I’ve seen “Traffic” and am way richer than any of those people.

“I’d never steal a necklace.”
Translation: It wouldn’t have matched my ankle monitor.

“I know I’m straight…I have made out with girls before and I had a relationship with a girl.”
Translation: I realized too late that Samantha Ronson was indeed a woman.

Reese: BFFs with cops
Reese Witherspoon is continuing the damage control after her arrest last week in Atlanta for disorderly conduct. On Saturday, the actress was spotted arriving at LAX with one curious accessory: a hat bearing the seal of the Atlanta Police Department. This feels like a desperate attempt by the actress to show the world that “Hey, the cops and I are cool, OK?” but we’re just curious about how she got that hat in the first place. Was it a parting gift after her time being booked in the station? We’re guessing it wasn’t part of the latest swag bag she got.

‘Suburgatory’ star pulls a fast one
Two things surprised me about Jane Levy, who plays doleful teen Tessa Altman on ABC’s “Surbagtory,” this weekend. No. 1: She’s 23. I swear, between she and Cory Monteith, Hollywood is all about casting people far removed from high school to tap into that inner teen angst. No. 2: She’s getting divorced! Did anyone even know she was married? Apparently she was, TMZ says, to a guy named Jaime Freitas, who has a bunch of random foreign acting credits to his name. Well, Levy filed for divorce on April 16, we’re just hearing, citing that all-too-familiar “irreconcilable differences” note. The papers say she doesn’t want to pay spousal support to Freitas, to whom she was wed since March 2011. I mean, can you blame her? That’s probably the one good decision this girl has made about her love life over the past two years.

Survey says…
On Friday we asked if you Jennifer Aniston’s flowy dresses and shifted wedding date might indicate a little sumthin-sumthin’ growing in her belly. Well, 57 percent of you out there think that indeed, the former “Friend” is preggo. Forty-three percent weighed in saying no way. If she’s pregnant, that’s great! Go Jen! And if not, that’s OK too — all in good time, folks. It’s quite possible that homegirl just ate a bunch of guacamole the day before those suspicious pictures were taken.

 

THE FEED
Today, Patrick Stewart is escaping, Snooki is sniffing, Seth Rogen and Mindy Kaling are shopping (for very different things) and Ellen DeGeneres is crying.

Sir Patrick Stewart @SirPatStew
Nothing like an early start to the weekend – though not when your hotel is on fire.

Nicole Polizzi @snooki
I love the smell of good hairspray

Seth Rogen ‏@Sethrogen
I just impulse bought a 15 pound brisket.

Mindy Kaling ‏@mindykaling
In Soho, Chanel is across the street from Crocs. High ‘n low baby #nyc

Ellen DeGeneres ‏@TheEllenShow 8m
It’s Cinco de Mayo and @OfficialAdele’s birthday! I’m celebrating by playing “21″ and taking a shot of tequila for every time I weep.


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